All Crikey!

Comedian Nimesh Patel kicked off stage for “offensive joke”

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When Nimesh Patel was invited to a stand-up comedy event at Columbia University by the Columbia Asian American Alliance, he expected to perform his regular show to an audience that knew him, knew his schtick, and knew...

Poor bastard discovers a sh*tload of cockroaches in old phone

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If you think you’ve heard things scuttling inside your appliances, scratching inside your walls and scurrying underneath your floorboards, but haven’t been able to locate the b*stard critters responsible, you might ju...

Sheila loses her sh*t after bloke refuses to pay for her lobster dinner and $130 bottle of wine

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At this stage of our collective evolution, we’re starting to question all sorts of traditional behaviours and cultural practices. Along the way, we’re starting to redefine what exactly equality means – and what it loo...

Pervy giraffes watch on as three cheetas do the dirty

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The world of sex and sexual kinks really does take all sorts and in 2019, society’s a pretty liberal place. The thing is, it’s not only people who have their kinks, fetishes and preferences; in some cases, animals can...

Driverless Tesla kills autonomous robot

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Those of us who’ve heeded the warnings of Terminator and have been sh*tting bricks over the coming influx of robots and machines imbued with artificial intelligence, might not have to worry after all. Yeah, nah, if a ...

Soccer player has Twitter meltdown after fan backlash for buying gold plated steak

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Have you ever just been going about your business and enjoying your life when you’ve come in for some stick? It’s always a mood-killer and you can’t blame people for getting upset when it happens. Deadset, it can real...

Student selling weed spared jail as judge was impressed by their text message grammar

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Remember back in the day when your English teacher used to say dumb sh*t like, “English is very important. There’s a direct correlation between those who pass English and those in prison.” Well, a recent trial in the ...

Archaeologists uncover ‘Vampire Skeleton’ in UK burial site

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The world today is pretty bloody different to the one that existed in the third century BC. Deadset, compared to the poor b*stards who inhabited the place back then, we live a pretty f**ken charmed life. We’ve got mob...

Where are they now: the stars of your favourite memes

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Memes are pretty f**ken grouse. Of course, they’ve also evolved an awful lot over the last few years. In that time, some of the stars behind our earliest memes have grown up and evolved themselves. So, er, yeah, while...

Bloke tries to troll undercover cop by selling him fake weed, back fires horribly

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It doesn’t take a f**ken rocket scientist to know that police forces across the world are far from perfect. They’re supposed to protect people, but sometimes things don’t work out that way. The video you’re about to s...

Some of the coolest sh*t found at random

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Who doesn’t love finding bloody cool sh*t at random. You know, like when you put your hand in your pocket and find ten bucks you didn’t know you had? Or when you lift the couch seat and find that biro you’ve been look...

Manager threatens “sick” employee, employee responds the best way possible

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Taking time off work can always be a dodgy prospect. We all know who the dodgy sheilas are who take off the Friday before Splendour in the Grass every year. We also know who the cheeky blokes who only ever get sick on...

Deep sea fishing accident left this bloke looking like Popeye

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You’ve probably heard that ascending too quickly when you’ve been in the deep sea for an extended period of time is a pretty quick way to f**k yourself up. After all, it’s not a secret. What you might not realise is j...

Proof the mainstream media is full of f*cken sh*t

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We’re not exactly sure you need telling, but the media is full of f**ken sh*t. And we’re not talking about just a few examples of them ‘getting their facts muddled,’ we’re talking about deliberate f**ken lies. Deadset...

This viral 195 gigapixel photograph of Shanghai needs to be seen to be believed

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At any given moment, there could be millions of stories unfolding in the midst of a city as humongous as f**ken Shanghai. There could be the budding romance burgeoning between two sons of rival CEOs, there could be th...