All WTF

Sheila gives birth to twins with two different fathers

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We’ll be f**ked if this story doesn’t get a bloody big CRIKEY, but over in China, a woman has given birth to twins – from two different fathers. Obviously, we all know the basic ins and outs of baby-making revolve aro...

Flat Earthers are planning an expedition to the edge of the world

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You’ve seen the memes, you’ve read the roasts and you’ve enjoyed the hype, but now it’s finally come time for the Flat Earth Movement to do something they could have done ages and ages ago. Yeah, deadset, they’ve fina...

Quantum physicists may have proven we live in a simulation

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Rightio, ya big bewdiful legends, we think that it’s time to take your bat and ball and f**k off home. The reason? Well, if we’re reading this information right, it seems like reality is a sham and we can’t be sure wh...

The most f***en ridiculously deep swimming pool in the world to open in Poland

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Here in Ozzyland, we f**ken love a good swimming pool. It may be a surprise to some because our beaches are so bloody good, but we’re also pretty f**ken keen on swimming pools too. It may be because once you reach cer...

You’ve been eating pineapple wrong your whole life

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Pineapple has become one of those weirdly controversial topics in recent years. As you know, there’s great debate as to whether you put it on your pizza or whether you don’t. In the past, it’s been famous for being th...

This plumber charged $230,000 for a blocked toilet

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If you own your own place, the chances are that sooner or later you’re going to need to get a tradie in to complete some sort of work. And, yeah, we know, it’s a home reno generation and everyone thinks they can handl...

Sheila demands persuasive essay for her BJ services, bloke writes the mother of all essays

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The humble bj is indeed a pretty f**ken marvellous thing. Anyone who’s ever had one won’t need convincing otherwise. Unfortunately, for some blokes, getting some mouth to south resuscitation isn’t as simple as it look...

Bloke to sue wife after she posted about his micro willy on Reddit

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These two lovebirds married recently after a short courtship. During that time, they decided not to, aaah… take each other for a test-drive if ya know what I mean. Fast forward to the honeymoon where the couple wer...

Ozzy Police release footage of UFO claiming “we are not alone”

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Righto, stop f**king about, don your tin-foil hats, cue the X-Files music and get ready to s**t your bloody pants. Extra-terrestrials are here. They’ve arrived. They’ve come to mutilate our f**ken cows, abduct our red...

BLOODY RUN! State of emergency declared after 50 polar bears invade Russian town!

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F**K YES! We bloody love Russian stories here at Ozzyman Reviews. Deadset, we love to read ‘em, watch ‘em and listen to ‘em while drinking vodka and laughing to ourselves about those crazy Russians and their antics. P...

Bloke who thinks his “Johnson” keeps getting bigger gets embarrassing reality check by Doctor

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Fark, this is a tough one to get through without a bit of a shudder. Obviously, you’ve seen the headline and you get the general gist of it, but just to make it more clear, anyone who’s ever watched Red Dwarf is famil...

Bloke wants to sue his parents for giving birth without his consent, mum responds

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Bloke wants to sue his parents for giving birth without his consent, mum responds This Bloke Wants to Sue His Parents for Giving Birth to Him Without His Consent Remember when you were a young bloke (or a young sh...

This bloke had wet dreams over his cockroach girlfriend, and ate her when she died

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All right, let’s get the caveats out of the way this one, because it’s gonna escalate pretty f**ken quickly. We bloody love the Japanese and have tonnes of respect for their culture. We think they’re a bunch of mint b...

Pommy tourists from hell visit New Zealand, thousands join forces to have them deported

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Ah, the British. There’s really two ways of looking at them. Depending on your perspective, they might be exceedingly posh b*stards who eat cucumber sandwiches, drink tea and look down their noses at everyone, or they...

Bloke has 15 beers pumped into his stomach in order to save his life

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Anyone who’s bloody anyone has heard stories of dudes, dudettes, blokes and blokettes needing their stomach pumped after a heavy night on the sauce. Sh*t, there’s probably more than a few of you out there who tell tha...