All Crikey!

Drunk bloke wakes up in strangers house and the owner’s reaction is f**ken gold

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Most of us have heard stories from our bulls**t artist mates about that time they were so bloody maggoted they woke up in a stranger’s house with no f**ken clue where they were or how they got there. Usually, the stor...

Bloke tracks down kids who egged his house, forces them to clean it up

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It’s probably not too much of a stretch to say that egging the f**k out of houses is something of a rite of passage. It’s a bloody crack-up, and even though it’s pretty bloody annoying for the bloke or sheila being eg...

Sheila panics after seeing spider while driving, crashes car

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Bloody spiders ay. Those little f**kers with their eight legs, their eight eyes and their burning hatred of mankind are pretty f**ken scary to some people. Deadset, some people drop a bollock as soon as they see even ...

Female weightlifter’s arm snaps in two places as she attempts a lift

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Remember that weird double-jointed kid who could bend their arm in a bunch of inhuman ways? You probably do, and that’s because the s**t they did with their limbs was f**ken unnatural. Yeah, nah, our arms and legs jus...

Police find 44 diamonds in bloke’s human pocket

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We’ve probably all heard the saying that pressure makes diamonds. While it’s kind of true in a geological way, we tend to use the phrase as a metaphorical way of saying someone does well under pressure. The reason we’...

This is the $6,000 Chinese ‘Sperm Extractor’ everyone is talking about

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While tonnes of you legends out there in the comments section have found breeding so easy you’ve done it by accident, there are more than a few people who, for whatever reason, haven’t been so lucky. To help with that...

Emergency ‘911’ operators have shared the phone calls they’ll never forget

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We often talk about that unseen social contract most of us in the civilised world adhere to on Ozzy Man Reviews, and we reckon that’s important. It’s too easy to just go about our lives complacent of the cogs, gears a...

Toddler manages to lock Dad’s iPad for 47 years

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Kids. Let’s be honest, they’re pretty f**ken great. Just ask anyone who has one and they’ll tell you they’re cherubic bundles of joy that bring nothing but joy and happiness to your life. Well, most of the time, they’...

Gymnast has a bloody brutal fall straight into Destination F#@*ed

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Look, it’s no secret we bloody love some of that awesome flippy-spinny s**t gymnasts all over the world do. The way they bounce around the mat like f**ken frogs or fleas or even bloody rabbits is pretty impressive stu...

People are sharing the most basic s**t they’ve never done…

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In a globalised world, it’s pretty normal for everything to be homogenous, ubiquitous and f**ken everywhere. Seriously, there’s really not much you can do about it. With easy travel and transport across the world, it’...

Girl catches gruesome infection on her feet after not wearing shoes in rural Brazil

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Look, by now, you’re probably beginning to think there’s nothing nature can show you that would shock you, amaze you, or simply gross you out. You would, though, probably be wrong. We think s**t like that all the time...

Bloke chooses to live like a dog, eats from bowl and barks at friends in the street

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Here in Ozzyland, we’ve had the joy of Barking Dog Man for some time, but we don’t reckon that even he can compete with this fella from Pommyland. No s**t, Barking Dog Man is a bit of a character, but we feel comforta...

The world’s best airport has a f***en rainforest inside!

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One of the great joys of the modern world is that we’re starting to look at things like infrastructure a bit differently. Take airports for an example. In the past, they were bug f**ken monuments to industry. To be fa...

Sheila who lost her forehead has a warning for others!

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Let’s not beat around the bush here, we’ve all referred to the balding bloke’s forehead as a fivehead – or sixhead, sevenhead or eighthead – and that’s okay. It’s all well and good to make fun of your mates, but the r...

Sheila gives birth to twins with two different fathers

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We’ll be f**ked if this story doesn’t get a bloody big CRIKEY, but over in China, a woman has given birth to twins – from two different fathers. Obviously, we all know the basic ins and outs of baby-making revolve aro...