All Crikey!

Bloke who got swallowed by a whale explains how he got out

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Bloody hell! If this isn’t some Jonah and the Whale bulls**t, we’re never gonna have a story that is. The other day, a diver was filming some pretty cool marine shenanigans when a friggin’ whale just f**ken gobbled hi...

Dave Chappelle calls musician’s performance “gay” on live Instagram show, gets awkward

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Love or hate Dave Chappelle, you can’t deny that the man says whatever the f**k he wants whenever the f**k he wants. In fairness, that’s not really seen as such a good thing as it might have been a few years back when...

Forget AI, humans with Amplified Intelligence could be waaaay more powerful

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By this stage of your Netflix membership, you should be well and truly familiar with the concept of artificial intelligence. You know, the field of research that’s trying to make machines smart enough to learn and do ...

Viral math hack has everyone asking “Why the f*** weren’t we taught this in school?”

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Whether you call it math, maths, arithmetic, or numeracy, it’s no secret that mathematics sucks a fat one. It really does. And that’s probably why people are always looking for ways to excel at maths without actually ...

Centuries old ‘witch marks’ found in ancient cave

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It’s been a bloody good month for cavers and archaeologists in the UK. First of all, they found some ancient Roman dick and balls carvings in quarries near Hadrian’s Wall, which is impressive enough in itself, but a s...

Paraglider gets into biff with kangaroo during landing, because ‘STRAYA

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It only takes a rudimentary knowledge of wildlife, geography and near-death experiences to know that Australia is famed for possessing wildlife that’ll f**k you up. To be honest, we’re not really sure how we came to p...

Bloke caught catching 40 f**ken winks on the highway has his Tesla goes 120kmph

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We’ve all heard about the Tesla’s awesome as f**k ability to self-drive. S**t, we’ve even shown you one on the go, but, on the flip-side of that, there’s also the tesla that skittled a f**ken robot at a recent trade f...

Billionaire dies during penis enlargement surgery

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This is gonna sound a bit grim, but that’s all right, because we don’t actually mean it to and it’ll all make sense in just a second. Here goes: have you ever considered where you’d like to die? At home in your bed se...

Son bloody drops bloke pestering his sick mum

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We’re not the sort of blokes who advocate for violence here at Ozzy Man Reviews, but if there’s one time you just don’t have a choice, it’s when someone’s disrespecting your mother. Yeah, nah, when that s**t happens, ...

Group of women claim “self stimulation” is the key to getting through childbirth

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The Divinyls sang back in the 80’s about the fine line between pleasure and pain. Somehow I don't think they were talking about metaphors for masturbation and childbirth, but I've been wrong once or twice before. I...

Drunk captain smashes cargo ship into South Korean bridge

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Does anyone else remember the sequel to the Speed movie, Speed 2? We do, and if you’re wondering how they managed to top the legendary first movie, it was simple. Speed, but on a ship and with added Willem Defoe. Anyw...

Bloke captures the moment he takes shortcut through avalanche to Destination F*@#ed

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While us Ozzy's are over here sweatin' our balls off and tryin' not to die of bloody heatstroke, some poor buggers on the other side of the globe near Denver, Colorado were dancing with an icy death in the form of a m...

Watch this f**k-off big spider drag an opossum to its lair

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By this stage, we’re all aware that the deadly predatory instincts of spiders aren’t limited solely to catching s**t in webs. We all know that the little pricks can actually get pretty f**ken big and that some of the ...

Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge theme park looks f***en outrageously good

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There are two types of people on this planet: those who reckon Star Wars is the f**ken s**t and those who are wrong. And really, whether you’re a fan or not, you can’t argue with the sheer impact it’s had on our cultu...

Shirtless Russian bloke with knife in back leaves hospital for a durry in the freezing

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Man With Knife In Back Walks Out Of Hospital For Cigarette Under -10°C Temperature Despite the fact every cigarette-smoking mother**ker you know claims they could quit smoking any time they wanted, the habit’s supp...

South African Pastor blows everyone’s minds bringing bloke “back to life” at service

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Bringing dudes back to life has long been a goal of mankind. From Victor Frankenstein to Herbert West, our literature’s absolutely chockers with pricks who want to show they can cross the pale and assume the power of ...

Turns out the entire f***en Internet is outraged by PETA’s scummy attack on Steve Irwin

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As you’re no doubt aware, those dodgy vultures over at PETA really raised our bloody ire the other day. We won’t patronise you with all the details, but they decided to have a crack at our beloved Steve ‘the bloody le...

Real-life Russian Mario Kart on a frozen river is f***en insane!

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You know, every now and then we start to think about how we haven’t been across to Russia in a while and how we kinda miss those crazy b**tards and their over-the-bloody-top antics. Naturally, that means it’s only a m...

People share hilarious stories of being caught by their parents “chokin’ the chicken”

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There are few thing is in this bloody world more certain than death and f**ken taxes. And the fact that horny teenage boys are gonna beat their bishops every chance they get is another one! It’s like your missus ta...

PETA sparks huge f***en backlash with anti-Steve Tweet on his Birthday

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Look, first of all, we get it PETA. We know what you’re trying to do – you wanted free publicity – and to a large extent, the fact we’re even talking about your bulls**t post about Steve ‘the bloody legend’ Irwin mean...