All Crikey!

Self-entitled sheila asks if daughter can pat service dogs, can’t take no for an answer

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One of the greatest things to emerge with the burgeoning adulthood of our latest generations is a grandiose sense of entitlement. It’s a pretty awesome thing that – as the name suggests – entitles the people who are b...

Budweiser partners with medical cannabis company to research weed-infused drinks

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Beer or buds? If you’re forced to choose, you might find yourself disappointed. After all, both have their pros and their cons and what you get from one you might not get from the other. Until now…In what could well b...

Backpack Kid sues ‘Fortnite’ for using The Floss dance move

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Welcome once again to Planet Earth. Planet Earth is, if you ask some of the locals, a pretty f**ken crazy place. It’s the kinda place you can get famous for not really doing much at all. Case in point, the Backpack Ki...

Sheila dumps her cheating boyfriend in savage fashion at her own birthday party

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It’s only a couple of posts ago that we were talking about the dude who wrote his cheating girlfriend a ‘f**k you’ song. While that song certainly came with its own brand of scorn, it can’t compete with the cold-blood...

Woman’s encounter with tribe that killed John Chau was entirely different 27 years ago

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A few weeks back, the world was granted a pretty f**ken savage reminder that the Sentinelese people of North Sentinel Island in the bay of Bengal don’t want you to come door-knocking. No sh*t, this ‘primitive’ tribe d...

‘World’s most tattooed doctor’ reveals the discrimination she faces

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Although most sensible people would say the world’s acceptance levels have come a long way in recent years, we’d be naive if we were to think the journey was over, the battle won and the dinner devoured. Yeah, nah, if...

Two nuns steal $500,000 from Catholic school to go gambling in Vegas

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If you ever needed a sound effect to describe the concept of irony, we now know it’s f**ken ka-ching! Fair dinkum, the idea of a couple of nuns – who are supposed to be these lovely old ladies who marry God and make h...

Sheila who was married to ghost of 300 year old pirate issues warning after divorce

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Argh, me hearties, make no mistake, the world be an interesting place in this day and age, and whether you’re scouring the seven seas for your soul mate and that one piece of booty you know you want to spend the rest ...

Poor bloke on blood thinners had a heart attack and “coughed up a lung”

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You’ve probably heard the saying ‘coughing up a lung’. It’s a pretty common turn of phrase that’s used all around the world. It is, of course, a figurative phrase because you can’t literally cough one up. Yeah, nah, t...

American couple narrowly escapes machete-wielding bandits in Kenya

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Life. It’s an interesting beast isn’t it? One minute you can be joyfully living your life in the US and the next you can be opening up a gym in Nairobi and getting to know the locals. Sweeping changes like this often ...

Drunk bloke lets “ninja” slice sausage in his mouth with sword, backfires terribly

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Whether they’re big into medieval history, total Game of Thrones-loving nerds, or just flat out bogans with a collection of samurai swords hanging on their bedroom walls, people everywhere seem to love swords. There’s...

Woman’s monstrous fart lands her in prison after she pulls knife on customer

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Despite the fact farts are quite obviously objectively funny, there are people out there in the world who don’t get the joke. On top of that, for some bizarre reason, not everyone is proud of their rectal rockets, the...

Nobody knows why the f*ck Earth just rang like a bell

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Earth. It’s a planet shrouded in mysteries, wrapped up in enigmas, and enveloped in f**ken conundrums. While our greatest scientists work hard to get to the bottom of these seemingly unanswerable questions and hypothe...

F**k off big cow is too big to be slaughtered

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The list of things the average bloke or blokette needs to know about cows, cattle and bulls is pretty f**ken simple: they taste great, they piss milk, they hate little Spanish c**ts with red flags and swords, their be...

Police make a run for it as attempt to recover body of man killed by tribe goes wrong

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By now, we’ve all heard about the foolish but still bloody tragic demise of American missionary John Chau. It’s been all over the internet in recent days and there’s been a wealth of memes, some callous commentary and...

Humans know when they’re dead, scientists discover

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If you’ve ever wondered what exactly happens to you when you die – apart from pooping your pants – scientists think they may have figured out the answer. In short, your brain keeps ticking and is fully aware of the fa...

Hang glider cheats death after realising harness was not attached

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The internet is awash with folks who’ve come a solid f**ken cropper while they’re enjoying a dose of extreme sports, trying to get tricky in a silly spot or wrecking themselves while they’re enjoying their recreation ...

ISS footage of Russian rocket launch puts Hollywood directors to shame

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As humans, we get to experience a lot of cool sh*t vicariously thanks to the magic of television and Hollywood special effects. Wanna know what it looks like when a car falls off a cliff and explodes, f**ken watch a m...

Ancient tablet contains first recorded customer complaint

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If you’ve ever been short-changed, ripped-off or sold an inferior product, you’ll know just how bloody frustrating going to the shops can be. Just today, I saw a mechanic have a proper f**ken whinge at the deli assist...

A man has been killed attempting to convert extremely isolated tribe to christianity

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Like it or not, the world is f**ken chock-a-block with extremely dangerous places. Usually, when we’re warned to stay away from certain places – and people – because of the simple fact that the going there is likely t...