All Gold
Someone drew a penis so big it can be seen from space
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Anyone bloke who’s ever been to school has drawn a mighty schlong in someone else’s notepad. F**k, anyone who’s had a mate leave his or her notepad unguarded for as long as it takes to sketch a badly rendered beaver b...
Police Dog performs CPR on police offer
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Dogs. They’re all bloody good boys and good girls and they’ll learn to do anything for a treat. They protect our families from f**kheads, they help blind c**ts get around without being run over, and they fetch newspap...
Man mistakenly released from prison for two hours is returned by wife
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You just have to love a goody-two-shoes girlfriend or wife. They’re always around to keep us out of trouble and make sure we’re on the straight and narrow. Whether they’re making sure you don’t get too drunk, get home...
A cardboard cut-out man keeps popping up at the World Cup
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In the world of football, or soccer, or land diving, whatever the f**k you wanna call it, not many people appreciate a plastic. These are the guys who support a team while they’re good and jump ship once they become s...
Senegal fans celebrate World Cup victory by cleaning the stadium
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We’re all aware of the bullsh*t that sometimes goes on at football matches around the world. From the racist fans of teams like Chelsea in England to the stabby ones of teams like Napoli in Italy, bad news is the norm...
Legend street artist transforms city streets
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At the risk of romanticising a little bit, cities live and breathe with personality. Do a little travelling and you’ll notice it in no time. Compare Berlin to London, Bucharest to Milan, Prague to Madrid; they all bus...
Gold Coast Anglican Church’s raunchy road sign has jaws dropping
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When a Gold Coast church ‘erected’ an awkward sign encouraging new members to ‘cum’ in, they were saying a little more than they bargained for. The sign, which read ‘Forgiveness is swallowing when you’d rather spit,’ ...
Some of the “best” worst tattoos on the Internet
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Providing it’s not your own tough sticker, there’s plenty to love about a sh*t tattoo. Whether it’s terrible because of poor spelling, dodgy drawing or sheer why-the-f**k-would-you-get-that-tattooed-on-ness, a dodgy t...
Three Pro-Wrestlers battle a male lion in tug of war
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In an exciting treat for visitors to the San Antonio Zoo this week, three WWE wrestlers went head to head with one young male lion in the most exciting tug of war contest you’ve seen since you were in high school! Chu...
Town Airs Its Laundry In Defiance of Anonymous Letter
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If there’s one thing we love here in Ozzyland, it’s a good old-fashioned rebellion. We simply love people who stick it to the ‘man’ and stick their middle fingers up at the tall poppies who look down on others. The to...
Legend Demonstrates Why the Earth Looks Flat Even Though It’s Not
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In an age when the ready availability of information on the internet is supposed to make us all smarter, it’s interesting that completely ludicrous ideas like ‘the earth is flat’ have been able to profligate. Fortunat...
Snoop Dogg Breaks World Record For Largest Gin n Juice
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Calvin bloody Broadus aka Snoop Dogg has done all right for himself over the last few decades. If you go back a few years, he was once that guy who smoked a lot of weed and wrote and performed those hip-hop songs all ...
Cool As F**k Bus-Driver Prevents Accident In London
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Imagine what it’s like to be cruising through city traffic on your moped in London. You’re weaving out of one lane and into the next, you’re passing buses and taxis, pedestrians are waiting playing real-life frogger a...
The ‘Human Hammer Throw’ Will Go Down As The Most Gangster Moment In MMA History
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We bloody love MMA here at Ozzyman.com. It has all the drama of wrestling with the added bonus of real punching. While wrestling might have a reputation for more colourful characters, that doesn’t mean you don’t get t...
Toddler’s birthday cake topper says something totally different from behind
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How bloody good are mates? They’re the blokes who’ll stitch you right up in front of that classy sheila you’re hitting on at the local. They’re the b*stards who’ll shave your f**ken eyebrows and draw cocks on your fac...
Teen carrying suspicious plant caught in Live TV report outside cannabis farm
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Sometimes the job of a journalist is bloody tough. There’s all the filtering through dozens of dodgy leads, separating the crank calls from the good ones and pounding the pavement trying to find people in the know. Ev...
Genius dog invents his own currency
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You know, we’ve always suspected that dogs were pretty bloody smart. We haven’t needed science to prove it either. You can just watch the b*stards for a bit and you can see they’re figuring the system, learning the wa...
Naked criminal jumps out of window straight into the arms of a SWAT team
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The best thing about being at home by yourself is probably hanging out in the buff. The only downside to it is the risk of an unexpected knock at the door. That’s always cause for mild panic. I mean, do ya whack a cus...
Bloke lives in a real-life sandcastle and avoids paying rent
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The phrase ‘living the dream’ is bandied around a fair bit. You’re having a Sunday sesh on a long weekend and the muso busts out some Barnesy – you’re living the dream! You’re chilling with your sheila and she offers ...
Horrified Mum accidentally feeds her two children a bowl of “d*cks”
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Hands up if you can remember your oldies making you eat something a little unconventional from time to time. No matter what it was, it’s probably gonna have a hard time outdoing the meal Rebecca Brett from the UK serv...
