All Wildlife

Monkey punches girl in the face at zoo after taunting him

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Animals don’t play by the rules of human society. They don’t need to wear pants, sh*t discreetly, or even restrain themselves from just f**ken smacking a toddler one if they feel like it. They’re animals. That’s proba...

These monkeys from Panama have entered The Stone Age

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Monkeys are pretty bloody awesome little critters. They can wear hats, they can smoke cigars, and they can steal your f**ken wallet. In some ways, they’re already nearly human. The only thing holding them back has bee...

Awesome bear goes for a swim in blokes backyard, drinks margeritas, then takes a nap

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F**K YES! When it comes to having a great time on a hot day, this legendary bear has shown the residents of a California neighbourhood exactly how it’s done. In fact, considering his impressive itinerary, this bear ha...

Poachers eaten alive by lions after illegally breaking in to target rhinos

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You know we f**ken love wildlife here at Ozzy Man Reviews, so it’s with great ‘sadness’ that we inform you of the terrible circumstances that befell a group of poachers in South Africa earlier this week: the c**ts wer...

Elephant rushes to the rescue of his caregiver after he’s “attacked”

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Elephants are f**ken majestic bastards. Despite their behemoth size, they're well known for their intelligence, their ability to build strong emotional bonds, and their ability to stick up for their mates when some pr...

Diego the randy tortoise has f**ked so much he’s single-handedly saved his entire species

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Bloody shell! Talk about a monumental claim to fame. Diego is a type of Galapagos Tortoise known by scientific wankers everywhere as Chelonoidis hoodensis. Found only in the wild on the Island of Espanola, the species...

14 hyenas kill kudu bull in African Safari camp reception

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but FARK, African wildlife does not mess about. Imagine staying at a Safari camp and waking up in the morning to find out a pack of hyena had f**ken slaughtered a fully-grown...

Skateboarding Russian circus bear says “nah f**k you” and attacks its keepers

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Over the last few years, it seems like most of us in the civilised world have slowly come to the conclusion that circuses probably shouldn’t be travelling around, like Noah’s ark on wheels, with cages upon cages of wi...

Scientists share the terrifying creatures they found in Australia’s 5km deep ocean

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Every drongo and their dog knows that Ozzyland is full of wildlife that’ll box your bloody ears in, damage your dangly bits and maul your manhood. We’ve got sharks that’ll sabotage your sister, spiders that’ll spit in...

Safari tourist attempts to pat wild lion from car window, instantly regrets it

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If there’s one piece of advice every wanker and their woman should keep in mind when they’re on safari, it’s this: keep your head, your arms, your limbs and your tits inside the vehicle at all times. Failure to do so ...

Three Pro-Wrestlers battle a male lion in tug of war

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In an exciting treat for visitors to the San Antonio Zoo this week, three WWE wrestlers went head to head with one young male lion in the most exciting tug of war contest you’ve seen since you were in high school! Chu...

Zoo Director Breaks Up A Lion Lion With His ‘Magic’ Slipper

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Remember when you were only as tall as a wombat’s wanger and you got in trouble with the oldies. If your household was typically Ozzy you were likely to cop a flogging with any one of the following: belt, wooden spoon...

Hippos save a wilderbeast from the clutches of two crocs in South Africa

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Let's take a trip to Africa, where the blessed rains have fallen, just like our good friends Toto sang about. We've got a good selection of animals on offer here, doing their thing and having an awesome time. Some tou...

Photographer captures crocodile tussling with a deadly viper in epic battle in Sri Lanka

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In today’s Wrassling Reptile Report, we’ve got the match report for the latest contest in the Reptilian division. Fighting to the death in Sri Lanka’s Yala National Park, we’ve got a bona fide rumble in the jungle her...

Eagle snatches fox holding rabbit in mouth in dramatic images

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There’s a pretty well known song that asks its listeners just what exactly a fox says. Well, if this video is any indication, we can be pretty sure the fox says, “f**k that filthy thieving eagle mother**ker!” Check ou...

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