Ten photos of people already living in 3018
We all like to think the year 2018 is pretty bloody advanced. I mean we’ve got the technology to let cars drive themselves, instantly send dick pics across the time and space, and stream movies and music on tiny devices we keep in our pockets. Yep, things are pretty futuristic right about now. Of course, the next logical question is, ‘if now looks like the future, what the f**k is the future gonna look like?’
Never fear ladies and wankers, we have the answer right here on this very page! Here, for you to marvel at, for you to be awed by, for you to witness with a look of stupefaction upon your primitive face, are ten innovations being used by those among us who already live in 3018!
Crikey, have a gander at some of these. First of all, check out the f**ken futuristic get-up on this cop. Able to leap across a busy intersection, able to chase down even the fastest runner, able to shoot his missus ‘by accident’ in the middle of the night!
F**ken videodog! Love it. Although, come to think of it, I’ve seen dogs before. Whoever plays that footage back is probably going to see a whole bunch of dog’s arsehole.
Bloody hell! Look at this time-traveller. Who needs a handheld mirror when you can set up like this. As an added bonus, you can watch the idiot box while you take a dump. Win-win!
This is probably one of the smartest things I’ve ever seen, even if it does make it really handy to have a quick one off the wrist while you get your haircut.
Now that, THAT, is a high-tech anti-splashback device. Come on, Sunbeam, get on it. We’re out here getting hot fat on our hands, and this guy’s showing us all up!
Mind blown right about here. By the time we get to 3018, this’ll be the only way to cook our Soylent Green.
If innovation like this is what the future holds, I wanna go there now. It’s more portable than a stable table, and it makes it really easy to ‘dump’ your scraps when you’re done!
Innovation has always been about making life easier for ourselves. This minimises your energy expenditure as much as any ride-on mower – and it’s available at half the price. Smart fella!
Well, this is clearly a work of f**ken genius. What could possibly go wrong?
Finally, this one is smoking hot. Literally. Who wants to put down the PlayStation remote when they need to take a puff of the old shisha? Certainly not whichever time-traveller put this work of art together.
Final thought: Even if we do live in a pretty technologically advanced world, these images show just how far we’ve got to go. So come on, bright minds of the future. Pull your finger out and f**ken get on with it. The future awaits!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: TanaCon 2018