There is now a range of high heel crocs and they are outrageously expensive

G’day ladies and wankers, how you going today? No matter, however you feel right now, these dashing new crocs are sure to lift your mood. Perfect for rocking high fashion while you shoot down to your local Coles to buy bread n milk, they come complete with a high heel that’s bound to make a splash!

Look, we all know Crocs cop a fair bit of sh*t from people who just don’t ‘get it’, but many blokes and blokettes love ‘em. Some, swear by them. And no, I don’t mean they say they look like sh*t, they reckon Crocs are an essential, and they barely leave home without ‘em. The father of four I work with routinely defends the honour of his crocs at the workroom lunch table.

That’s actually really f**ken noice! Credit: Crocs

“People bag ‘em out,” he says. “But I don’t see why. They’re comfy as and when I’m doing me gardening they’re way better than a pair of double-pluggers.”

For what it’s worth, I’m not saying the big fella can now rock high-heels while he mows the lawn and feeds the chooks, I’m saying there are people out there who love them.

There’s even a range of colours to suit whichever dressing gown you’re wearing to the supermarket! Credit: Crocs

Put it this way: high-fashion brand Balenciaga wouldn’t have designed a $645 pair of Crocs if they didn’t think they’d be more popular than a peanut-butter-flavoured pickle. And yeah, nah, I’m not tickling your sphincter; those bloody expensive crocs are f**ken real.

Here’s the advertising pitch:

“Balenciaga casts the classic Croc slipper in a punk-ish new light for SS18.

In a whimsical bubblegum-pink hue, the front is decorated with a selection of irreverent pop-culture charms including logo plaques, avocados, flags, and pug faces to create an effect like a fridge of souvenir magnets.

Take advantage of the high platform sole to lift an ankle-skimming dress.”

Now THAT is stylish. Credit: Balenciaga

Yeah, f**ken do that. You won’t look like a plonker at all. I promise.

For those of you who don’t have 645 dollary-doos to blow on a pair of Crocs, you can still get the ‘budget’ version of the original Crocs in a trendy-as-f**k high heeled design.

There are so many sad things going on in the world right now. We didn’t need to add high heel crocs to the list. #crocs pic.twitter.com/8PdWE15YaC

— StilettoNinja (@bonheurchasse) July 12, 2018

Next time you’re heading to the races, rock those bad boys for the ultimate in comfort and fashion.

Okay everyone brace yourself. I found high heel crocs in my size and on sale. pic.twitter.com/rFGSzKXg5W

— Madison (@madisonanna33) June 11, 2017

Final thought: As fun as it is to have a laugh at Crocs, we’re only having a bit of fun. Right now, I’m wearing a pair of those big f**ken slippers with glow-in-the-dark skeleton feet printed on them and I wear me double-pluggers with trackies. If you like Crocs, you f**ken wear ‘em loud and proud. Don’t let some wanker on the internet tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. I’ll even provide you with a link.

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