Hundreds of monkeys are fighting over a bloody banana right now!
F**ken monkeys are c**ts. You know that as well as we do, so we won’t harp on about it too much. As long as they’re happy, they’re pretty entertaining – even if you don’t want ‘em too close – but once they’ve got a bee in their bloody bonnet, you know what happens: they turn into aggressive pricks. When they’re hungry and there’s not enough food to go around, they take their anger out on each other in Outsiders-style rumbles. Check this one out to see what we mean…
Rightio, for a bit of that context you big bloody legends love so much, we’ll just say that yeah, nah, coronavirus is kinda indirectly responsible for this story too, so don’t think we’re letting you down there. Apparently, there are less than half the tourists there usually are in Thailand at this time of the year, and our mate Covid-19 is to blame for that.
Considering those tourists usually feed the two rival gangs of monkeys in the city of Lopburi in central Thailand, food’s pretty scarce right now. When one of the monkeys got hold of a banana, the other monkeys in town went into full gang warfare mode.
Yeah, nah, by all accounts, Lopburi is home to the city monkeys and the temple monkeys. They live on either side of a f**ken train track, and plentiful food from tourists is all that keeps them from tearing the city apart as they lay waste to each other while reciting Robert Frost and hanging out with a pre-nosejob Tom Cruise.
Anyway, this all seems like the build-up to a vicious shanking and a terrible fire, but let’s get over that s**t. When these monkeys kick off, they f**ken swarm like a wave of flea-bitten fiends, and bystanders are left to watch in awe.
Check out the video below to see these pugilistic primates bring back the biff!
Final thought: Monkeys are c**ts, and if you’ve ever fed them while you’re on holiday, you’ll be responsible for the inevitable chaos when these two rival gangs realise that they both have the same problems and decide to turn on the human overlords. Yeah, nah, we’re all f**ked and it’s probably your fault. Probably.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Toilet Paper Scrap
Video Link: Viral Hog
H/T: DAILY MAIL.