Bomb squad rushes to hospital after WWII-era shell found in man’s rectum

There are days we really love the internet. This is one of them. Yeah, nah, it really is. Today, we get to bring you this absolute cracker of a story. It’s about a man who slipped and fell on an anti-tank explosive from his own collection of World War Two memorabilia, only for it to get stuck in his butt.

Look, we’re going to start by saying a couple of things. For all we know, this man could quite easily be telling the truth. He really could have been walking, naked, around his collection of 2.2 inch WWII munitions when he slipped and found one of them had become stuck right inside his unmentionable.

The bomb squad were called to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital yesterday after a man told staff he had an explosive device in his rectum. It had been removed before police arrived and was not live. The hospital say their safety procedures ensured staff and visitors were not at risk pic.twitter.com/zH4G6H9EcM

— BBC Radio Gloucestershire (@BBCGlos) December 3, 2021

Secondly, we’re gonna add that even if he was trying to save face, he shouldn’t feel like he has to. Yeah, nah, honestly, he should have been saying to the nurse, “Yeah, nah, I just wanted a bit more heat in my ass-play today.” There’d be no shame in that.

What a strange supposi-story.

— Amanda Loutfi (@bilko_sergeant) December 3, 2021

Still, credit to him for sticking to his guns when the f**ken bomb-squad was called in. Yeah, nah, they’d no doubt be firing questions at him about how he got it wedged in there, and he’d be shooting back with one simple line: “I’m telling the truth! Why would I stick antique anti-tank munitions up my arse?”

There is mortar this story than meets the eye 😆

— Dan Purdy🇬🇧 (@danski46) December 3, 2021

Anyway, getting back to the story, this one blew up the other day when the poor fella went to the Gloucestershire Royal Hospital. Once he was there, they removed it from his cloaca and, as is policy, called the bomb squad.

All he needed was a dodgy takeaway & it would have made for an explosive bowel movement 🤣

— DonQuix (@Donquix5) December 3, 2021

Authorities said, “The item had been removed prior to police arrival and the Army’s Explosive Ordnance Disposal team were contacted.”

As we’ve already suggested, the man claimed he ‘slipped and fell’ on it. The hospital’s spokesperson said, “As with any incident involving munitions, the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure there was no risk to patients, staff or visitors at any time.”

Is that why they store these things in an ARSEnal?

— Brian Pimlott (@BrianPimlott1) December 3, 2021

Certainly adds new meaning to the idea of dropping bombs in the bathroom, though.

Final thought: Yeah, nah, we love the internet. Still, we’ve gotta say, if you are going to indulge in a bit of butt-fun, make sure you take your safety precautions – you know, like using non-live ammunition. Also, don’t feel like you have to say you slipped and fell. Just tell your story. Own it. The world will respect you more for it, you kinky legend!

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Composure #2

H/T: NYPOST.