Bloke Shows Off Brand New Synthol-Enlarged Biceps
Some dudes spend hours and hours in the gym so they can look staunch as f***.
They sweat, they strain, they eat high protein diets, they see the results of their hard work and they probably – I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tried it – understand that the effort was all worth it.
Then there’s this Russian bloke, Kirill Tereshin.
He’s one of those dudes that reckon hard work is a waste of time. He’s one of those dudes that want an easy fix. He’s one of those dudes that want a shortcut and the instant gratification without the hard work. And maybe he’s on to something because f*** me he’s putting on quite the gun show.
Have a look at those bad boys. They’re bloody massive. They’re Ultimate Warrior arms. They’re f***ing way too big for his scrawny little body though. Seriously, have a go at this fella. He looks like he’s photoshopped a couple of turnips into his biceps. He looks like he’s wearing floaties! He looks like his biceps have been stung by bees!
OK, let’s backtrack a little. Young Mr Tereshin from Pyatigorsk in Russia (why is it always bloody Russia) is pretty proud of his new biceps. And if you’re wondering why they look like they belong to someone else, the answer is Synthol.
Synthol is some pretty nasty sh** bodybuilders use to ‘fluff up’ muscles that are disproportionate to the rest of their body. So the little muscles they can’t hit with standard exercises. Like their cocks. Presumably.
Anyway, Synthol is essentially an oil-based compound that can be injected into muscles to increase their size. Kirill has spent the best part of the last month injecting his biceps with it and he’s now rocking guns that are 64cm in circumference. And if you’re wondering why they’re the same purple as your granddad’s ballbag you can take Kirill’s word for it that the discolouration is a temporary side-effect.
Of course, that’s not the only risk he’s taken. Synthol, despite its popularity with bodybuilders, is known to cause pulmonary embolisms, nerve damage, infections, stroke and cysts, ulcers and granulomas.
Still, he’s gonna look f***ing tank for the Russian summer. So what d’ya reckon, wankers, would you do it?