You can now buy beer made from vaginas
Let’s not beat around the bush. You’ve read the headline and you know what the story’s about. Beer, meet vagina. Vagina, meet beer. Yeah, if you’ve ever been sitting back, sipping on a stubby on a Friday afternoon and thought, man, I really wish this beer tasted more like pussy, you’re in luck. I’m not exactly sure why you’d want a fish flavoured beer, but your wish has been granted.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with liking vagina. Millions of guys and girls across this big globe love chowing down on the old whisker biscuit. They simply adore tasting the old meat muffin, and savouring the delicate flavours of the delectable tuna taco, but one read of the beer’s website suggests that this beer is actually pretty f**ken dodgy.
It’s called The Order of Yoni, and it claims to be the first beer made from vaginal lactic acid in the world. And, again, as always, we like to give every mother**ker a fair crack of the whip here at Ozzy Man Reviews, but one read of this particular brewski’s website suggests that the only people buying this beer are randy teenagers and the kinds of old blokes who hang out in the bushes outside the lady’s room.
I like to think I write some pretty sketchy sh*t on here, but these are the words they use to advertise their beer:
Imagine the woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try how she tastes, feel her smell, hear her voice… Now imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you’d like to hear. Now free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be closed in a bottle of beer. A golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with wild instincts. Imagine a beer which every sip offers a rendez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kisses you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for such a beer?
Feel her smell.
Try how she tastes.
Did a bloody serial killer write this? Bloody hell, it goes on doesn’t it? Imagine her giving you a passionate massage, and now imagine she’s a beer flavoured with wild instincts! F**k me sideways. You’d be hard-pressed to pick it up from that, but they’re using vaginal fungus to make beer.
Final thought: We welcome all types here, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. If drinking a beer made from mushrooms scraped off the old fish barrel is the kind of thing you’d be interested in, you go for it. Hit up the Facebook comments and let us know what you think about this gash-flavoured beer. As for me, I reckon beer’s f**ken spot on how it is.
F**k I love beer!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Canadian Arrest
H/T: Inked Mag.