This bloke had wet dreams over his cockroach girlfriend, and ate her when she died

All right, let’s get the caveats out of the way this one, because it’s gonna escalate pretty f**ken quickly. We bloody love the Japanese and have tonnes of respect for their culture. We think they’re a bunch of mint b**tards and we wish them all the best. We also want to give everyone a fair go. But, and by but, we mean bbbuuuuttttt, this dude had a pet cockroach, dated it, dreamed of f**king it and then ate it when it died. So, you know, fair go, but maaate…

Credit: Asian Boss

So, the Japanese bloke in question is Yuta Shinohara and he really likes bugs. On the other side of the coin he’s also a big fan of eating them and creating what he calls ‘bug cuisine’. So, er, ladies, meet Yuta. He’s single.

Credit: Asian Boss

Anyway, old mate Yuta, who straight up says he’s never met a human female as attractive as his ex-cockroach girlfriend, Lisa, was interviewed by Asian Boss about his predilections and it’s a f**ken doozy of an interview. You can watch the whole thing from the 11.11 minute mark of the video down below, but it kicks straight into high gear when the interviewer asks him if the rumour that he slipped a cockroach his beef bayonet was true.

“First of all, it doesn’t fit, but I think that rumour got mixed up with the fact I dated a cockroach,” he tells the interviewer. From there, things just get weirder. “It could have been my imagination,” he says, “since I got so attached over time, that I started to feel as if we were communicating.”

Credit: Asian Boss

Yuta bought Lisa in Africa, but he knew he was destined not to have a long-lasting relationship with her because she “was a cockroach with a short life span.” With that in mind, he “ate her with reverence.” Yeah, he f**ken ate his dead girlfriend. So. She. Became. Part. Of. His. Body.

What’s amazing here is that the interviewer is just giggling away. Meanwhile, this bloke’s got her out in the forest, presumably miles from everyone. She’s one brave sheila.

To wrap up, we’ll finish with this:

“Lisa was my first love. I pictured doing it with her many times. I know it’s impossible, but I imagined a world where cockroaches become supersized, or I become smaller.”

Credit: Asian Boss

Final thought: That’s enough internet for today. F**ken hell.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Kangaroos

H/T: 9GAG.