There’s a bloody snake that has a fake spider-tail to ambush birds
As you’re no doubt aware, we bloody well love wildlife here at Ozzy Man Reviews.
We reckon that if we can channel even a tenth of the love and passion Steve ‘bloody legend’ Irwin had for all critters great and small, we’ll be making people happy. So without further ado, let us present you with the spider-tailed horned viper. This little bewdy is a top notch example of specialised evolution in an ambush predator. Have a f**ken squiz and marvel at nature’s majesty…
Rightio, ya big bloody legends. We want you to don your bloody khakis, grow out your mullet and get bloody excited for this one. It’s a special little journey into the world of herpetology, the realm of reptile-wrestling and the nature of going, ‘Farken hell, get a load of this little prick and his specialised adaptation!”
Yeah, deadset, the spider-tailed horned viper is like the fancy pants fisherman with all the lures, the patience of a saint and the eyebrows of Johnny bloody Howard. The arse-end of its tail is decked out in a full-on arachnid costume. Have a bloody gander and tell us you see the snake before you see the spider. Just try it. Chances are you’re full of sh*t if you reckon you can.
Anyway, the snake, which we might name Colin because it’s a bloody colubrid, is feeling a might peckish. Fair dinkum, Colin has decided to chill the f**k out on a rock and try to trick a bird into eating the ‘spider’ that’s hanging out on his tail.
…Aaaaand it doesn’t take very bloody long at all. He’s barely had time to consider dessert when a f**ken dumb-ass bird takes the bait. When he does, Colin, who’s been chillaxing like a biatch, springs into action. Now, if I remember me Steve ‘bloody legend’ Irwin, snakes strike at seven times human reaction speed. That sh*t is fast, and that bird-brained bag of feathers can’t avoid it. Yeah, nah, it’s like an awkward conversation at the in-laws’ house. It has to happen!
Once he tags the f**k out of that bird, he’s on for dinner.
Final thought: We say it all the bloody time, but nature really is bloody awesome. With camouflage and a pretend bloody spider on his tail, this fella mustn’t have to wait too long for din-dins!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Chameleons.