Science has f*cken worked out Scissors, Paper, Rock

Science has f*cken worked out Scissors, Paper, Rock

G’day blokes and blokettes. How the f**k are ya? You might want to take a seat for this one, because as far as the big news of the day goes, this sh*t is f**ken ground-breaking. Science, in all its glory, has decided to go and dabble in some sh*t. And, no, before you ask, they haven’t cloned a Kardashian, brought Bowie back from the dead, or opened a portal to another dimension; they’ve done something far worse. They’ve solved the mystical pattern behind roshambo!

Little brothers of the Earth, you might wanna gather in close here. Science has got a secret that might, just might, finally let you get one over your big brother. You know how that dodgy f**k always gets his own way, and when you try to pull one back he kicks your arse in a game of rock, paper, scissors? Well, gather in and learn the pattern that will allow you to dominate the wanker.

Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

Some cheeky Chinese scientists gathered 360 students, split them up in groups of six and pitted them against each other in gruelling rock, paper, scissors competitions. They had to play 300 f**ken games of it, and it’s probably safe to say they’ll never play it again after that. Anyway, to keep them interested, each victory came with a small cash-prize. Once the epic tournament was over, they studied each game and figured out the likelihood of each player (based on their last game) playing a certain hand.

Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

They discovered that “if a player wins over her opponent in one play, her probability of repeating the same action in the next play is considerably higher than her probabilities of shifting actions.”

To help you understand that a little better, we’ve lifted the following info from Gizmodo. Hey, it was a great little cheat-sheet. May as well use it. Just carry it in your pocket at all times and the next time your brother wants to take the X-Box first, you can challenge him to a game of roshambo to see just who the top f**ken dog is.

If you won the last round…

  • …by playing rock, play scissors next.
  • …by playing scissors, play paper next.
  • …by playing paper, play rock next.

If you lost the last round (and your opponent hasn’t seen this study yet)…

  • …by playing rock, play scissors next
  • …by playing scissors, play paper next.
  • …by playing paper, play rock next.

If you lost the last round (and your opponent has already seen this study)…

  • …by playing rock, play paper next.
  • …by playing scissors, play rock next.
  • …by playing paper, play scissors next.
Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

Credit: Buzzfeed Blue

Final thought: Blokes and sheilas, give Science a round of applause. Without them to discover this vital information, there’s no telling where we’d be as a society. Thanks, Science!

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos about two rodents who could have used a game of roshambo or two…Ozzy Man Reviews: Rat vs Rat

H/T: Gizmodo.