New research reveals blokes spend seven hours a year hiding in the bathroom for ‘peace and quiet’
Rightio, ya big lovely bell-ends, raise your bloody hands if you – or your old man, hubby, son or other significant male figure in your life – disappears into the sh**ter for hours on end. Well, the science is in and although you might think he’s a sus b**tard for hanging out in there and basking in the scent of his own brand, he’s not alone. Yeah, nah, new research suggests that on average blokes spend seven hours a year on the porcelain throne just so they can get some peace and f**ken quiet.
For some people, this won’t come as a shock at all. Without mentioning me dad’s name, it was just bloody routine for the legendary prick to spend yonks on the dunny reading books about the war while he waged it on the septic tank.
Anyway, the science comes courtesy of a bathroom company called Pebble Grey, so you know, regard it as you will. These guys and their market research of a thousand blokes suggest that guys are hiding in the bog to avoid nagging partners, to avoid overly-energetic kids and to avoid chores or look at their mobile phones in peace and solitude.
The same research says one in ten of these visits are interrupted. A spokesperson for Pebble Grey didn’t do a very good job of not sounding like a marketing person when asked about the results, but here’s what they said anyway:
“We all need a little bit of time to ourselves – to take stock or switch off completely. And the bathroom appears to be the go-to place for those moments – it’s very much a sanctuary, somewhere we can cut ourselves off from the outside world, albeit just temporarily. As the results suggest, peace and quiet is sacred and clearly, men take the opportunity to get this where they can – often in the bathroom.”
It’s pretty much the perfect segue to ‘here’s our new line of dunnies’ and a call to action, but you get the drift. If you’re being made to feel weird for hanging out in the sh**ter for ages, just show your missus this article when you’re done and maybe she’ll stop hassling you while you back one out.
Final thought: Surely this one goes down under the ‘sh*t we didn’t really need science to tell us’ file. Anyway, dudes, just remember your arse can fall out if you spend too long in there. Try to avoid that.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Alpaca in a Hole