Pornhub’s top ten searches for 2018 show just how f*cked this year was

You can tell alot about a person by what they listen to, what they eat and hell, even what they wear. But nothing tells you more about someone than what Porn they watch, and lucky for us Pornhub has us sorted!

With 2018 coming to a close it is time to reflect, but mostly it’s time to prepare yourself for the barrage of every single bloody publications ‘hot take’ on the year that was. What went on in fashion, we don’t f**king know. Sounds like Fortnite was a thing again and people are worried about it. But I think the single most illuminating and worthwhile take on us as a society right now is what was trending in porn. And fair dinkum there is some sh*t in here that is equal terrifying and hilarious. No one is safe under the Pornhub microscope.

It’s quite a read, and probably more in depth than most government white papers but old mates at Pornhub have put in the time to break down our most primal of urges and deliver them in delicious infographic form.

Credit: Pornhub

Straight off the bat with ‘The Searches That Defined 2018’ sums up the year pretty well. And in a weird way tends to line up with other 2018 breakdowns. Stormy Daniels sits back on top again, and so she should. Old Trumpy has seemed to kick oil back into gear but also shoot Stormy back to the top of everybodies spank bang again, with Mia Khalifa hot on her tail.

Credit: New York Post

Video games and porn go hand in hand, and Fortnite sits in sweet silver. Knocking off Overwatch from 2017 as the gamers go to for late night jollies. Bowsette however was the surprise one for me, a real dark horse in a list of fairly strong offerings. But at the end of the day it is good to know that quality still wins out over quantity with ‘4K’ up there. None of this low res sh*t, only the most crisp and juicy 4k for masses. Respect.

But that leads to another revelation, well not really a revelation, just something that might have been overlooked from our part. And that is the pure domination of watching Porn on your phone versus a computer. A whopping 71.6% of people settle down for a cheeky fapping with their phone. So with that in mind, I’d think twice about borrowing your mates to make that phone call. Playing with fire.

It really does just keep going with fact after fact. 10 minutes seems to be the sweet spot in terms of average watch time, seems about right. Women viewership is up by 3% and climbing. Still no where near us, but hey, it’s nice to know they’re on the march. The other fun fact is that ‘Romantic’, ‘Gangbang’ and ‘Double Penetration’ seem to be the strong performers for the fairer sex. No half measures in that leap but f**k it, there will be no judgement in what goes in that search bar.

Last but not least, I’ve never seen a map that made me laugh as much as this. The top search by country is a wonderful way to look at the world. We’re all a little depraved and this shines a big f**ck off light on it! Note: I’d lied before about the judgement, this map changed that a bit.

Credit: Pornhub

Bravo to Pornhub though as this is a mighty good read and seriously do yourself a favour and check it out!

Porn is like art, completely subjective, it should be literally whatever floats your boat.

H/T: Pornhub