Mum uses mysterious beautiful fragrant “lump” in bathroom, then learns horrifying origins
om Finds Mysterious Fragrant Lump In Her Bathroom, Then Realizes Something HORRIFYING
Kids are f**ken gross, it’s not a secret. Whether they’re booger-eating little ferals, bratty little snot-faces or big acne-scarred buggers with barely enough Lynx Africa to hide their sh*thouse BO, they’re all a bunch of grubs. Sure, they might be nice people, but they’re gross. It’s just a fact. If you don’t believe me, check out what this little grommet brought home to Mum…
As we’ve established, kids are pretty disgusting. Of course, that’s more forgivable with the littlest ones. They’re out there experiencing the world for the first time. They might not have the capacity to comprehend fully the implications of everything they see, smell, taste or hear, and as a result, they need to be given some leeway.
Now, juxtapose that with something we can all relate to: a beautiful new smell. You’ve come home from work and it seems like someone’s done you a favour and cleaned your bathroom for you. Better yet, they’ve bought you some decorative soap. Don’t let me explain though, here’s Ashford Evans, a mother who experienced just that…
She uploaded a picture of a mysterious fragrant something to her Facebook page and explained that, “When I entered the bathroom I was greeted by a sweet citrus smell. The entire bathroom seemed to have been scrubbed just before my arrival…and that’s when I saw it. (The ‘soap‘)”
Apparently, that sh*t smelled good. Like, real good. “I picked it up and held it to my nose breathing the scent in. The smell of fresh grapefruit in a perfectly silent house is just short of heaven I believe.”
The next day, one of her little cherubs had rediscovered the delightful soap. She came out of the bathroom, “pressed the soap to her lips, breathed deeply,” and said, “This is my favourite! I love the way this smells!”
Evans agreed. “What is it?” she asked.
“Meeny (another cherub) found it in the boy’s bathroom at Tae Kwon Do and brought it home.”
The penny dropped. A horrified Evans wrote, “It wasn’t some upscale boutique $15 soap I had been caressing for the last 12 hours. It was a urinal cake… A urinal cake that has been peed on by at least 1000 strange little boys that I just held against my cheek!!!!!”
Final thought: Look, in the interests of hygiene, this should serve as a warning not to trust anything your children say, do, or touch until they’re at least 37. Those little ferals have no idea what’s going on. Leave them to run free and they bring home presents that make that headless sparrow the cat dropped off yesterday look almost desirable. Yuck!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Mega Compilation #6
H/T: Twenty-Two Words.