Sheila claims “butt sunning” is the secret to energy surges, better sleep and more creativity
In this day and age, you can get a pill or a supplement for pretty much anything. Unfortunately, this rush for chemical fixes just takes away from nature’s natural ability to make you a f**ken beacon of light and productivity. Deadset, it turns out – according to one Instagram expert – that you don’t need caffeine, you’re a machine and your butthole is the solar panel. Check this out.
Rightio, we get that a hole lot of you are looking at this right now and doing a double-take, but bare with us. We reckon this Instasheila has got it sussed. Apparently, if you point your f**ken cloaca to the sun and get a good whack of UV on it, you’ll be charged like a lizard on hot bloody sand.
Let’s be honest, it makes sense. The human body is an amazing piece of engineering. Anyway, let’s check out what Metaphysical Meagan – who’s from California, because of course she f**ken is – has to say:
“For the past few weeks, I have included sunning my bum and yoni into my daily rising routine. Many of you have been asking about the benefits of this practice: 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on.”
We’re gonna be honest. We don’t even know if this is a parody or not. All we’re gonna say is that if you try this in the midst of an Ozzy Summer, your f**ken sphincter’s gonna blister.
Anyway, Meagan’s other claims, which may or may not be the by-product of smoking too much pot, include: sunbathing your starfish will help you sleep better, make you more creative, attract your desires and intentions with ease, give you better connection to your sexual energy and connect you to your soul tribe.
Considering, she’s seen with her dogs in some of the photos, we think that’s her soultribe. Maybe someone should tell her they’re just saying hello.
Final thought: Yeah, look, we reckon that if you really want to wink your shitter at the sun, you go for it. After all, we’re big proponents of doing what makes you happy here at Ozzy Man Reviews. However, we reckon Meagan’s claims might be more than a little spurious. Like, we’re not scientists or anything, but something just smells a little funny about this one.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Relaxing Animals
H/T: DAILY MAIL.