How muff diving could be good for you
Lets be clear here mates, when we say muff diving we are talkin’ about cunnilingus (crikey, that fancy word is almost as fun to say as muff dinving). The old love tunnel if ya know what I mean. Turns out that tonguing the bean could have some health benefits! It’s got me f**ked what the people in the labs are chattin’ about when they come up with this s**t hahaha but here goes.
This one gets a bit science-y, so let me break it down for us all. Facts:
- A sheila’s panty hamster is full of good bacteria
- Most of that good bacteria is called Lactobacillus
- Lactobacillus also exists naturally in ya guts, also known as a probiotic that can have good health benefits.
There’s heaps of ways that this good bacteria can improve your health, including lowering ya cholesterol, lowering the pain in the ass that is IBS, as well as reducing symptoms of some allergies and the flu… You get these good probiotics in yoghurt, miso, that kombucha stuff and bloody gherkins.
And if that menu sounds unappealing, you can always start chowin’ down on a hoo-haa in the name of ya bloody well-being!
But like most news that’s too good to be bloody true, there’s a catch. You’d need to line up a whole line of honey pots and be growling for most of the f**ken day to get the health benefits. Turns out that there’s just not enough of the good bacteria in a sheila’s vag fluid to make a real difference.
Dr. Helena Mendes-Soares of the Mayo Clinic said:
I think it would be possible, but probably unlikely. I don’t know of any study that has addressed it.
Can ya imagine all the blokes signing up for that scientific research lining up down the street ready to wrap their laughing gear around a map of Tassie!
Final Thought: However you wanna get your daily dose of Lactobacillus is your bloody business. Just make sure she’s a consenting adult before you don the snorkel for the old muff-dive. And for anyone strugglin’ to get a regular nibble on a lil’ pink taco, you can get ya dose of Lactobacillus from Woolies in the yoghurt aisle.