Sheila demonstrates how to work out like an Instagram influencer
Correct us if we’re f**ken wrong, but we’ve chatted about some of the bulls**t that goes into the whole image side of being an Instagram ‘influencer’ a few times recently. If you’re not exactly sure when we’re talking about, replace the word ‘influencer’ with ‘wanker’ and you might be on to something. Anyway, we’re back at the f**ken races again today. This time, we’ve got a helpful little vid that’ll help you develop the right f**ken body for your future foray into Instagram. Good s**t…
Yeah, as you might be able to tell, what we’ve got is a bloody tops vid that’ll show you future stars of the World Wide Web exactly how to get your body in shape. This is bloody key when you’re going to start up an Instagram career, because there’s only so much you can do with Photoshop and dodgy lighting.
Don’t get us wrong, that s**t will cover up an awful lot, but from what we can tell, you blokes and blokettes loitering in the comments section have bonza personalities, but you obviously copped a few cheeky f**ken whacks from the ugly stick at some point.
Nevertheless, Kelly, our assistant personal trainer is ‘gonna show you how to work out like a fitness influencer.’ Now, before you get started you need Kelly’s number one tip. ‘Forget the fundamentals of human movement because that’s boring. Instead,’ she reckons, ‘you need to reinvent the wheel with new and exciting ways to exploit your arse-crack.’
Clearly, Kelly’s done her homework. The whole f**ken trick to this ‘influencer’ business seems to be tarting yourself up, rambling on with some s**t about gluten-free vegan soy latte diets and showing everyone your bloody coin slot.
Obviously, there’s more to it, but we’ll let you suss out the video. We’re telling you, though, once you’re done, be prepared for Instagram fame and fortune. Are you ready for that s**t?
Final thought: You’ve gotta love a bloody good parody. Kelly’s f**ken knocked this one out of the park. Still, whether you like it or not, this whole Instagram ‘influencer’ thing isn’t going anywhere. People love that s**t. Anyway, let us know your number one tips to being an ‘influencer’ in the comments section. Till then, f**ken hooroo, ya big bewdiful b**tards.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Destination F**ked Compilation 9
Video Link: Hell’s Fitness