Chinese John Wick Saves His Three Dogs From A Thief With A Machete

We all know who John Bloody Wick is, but you have to check out the Chinese bloke who saves his three dogs from a thief with vigilante initiative, a machete and a good old-fashioned car chase!

All right, so when you watch this video, you’ve got to ask yourself, what would you do if some sneaky little f**k stole your beloved family dogs and the most likely scenario for their immediate future was the butcher’s block?

If you’re anything like the machete-wielding legend in this video, you don’t sit on the porch like a goon and wait, Mrs Lippy. You’ve got a responsibility! You get your ass out there and you find those f**king dogs!

“Give me back my f**ken dogs!!!!” Credit: AsiaWire

When Mr Machete realised his dogs were missing, his first thought would have been one of horror. Unfortunately, we know that the vast majority of dogs used in China’s dog meat trade don’t come from farms. Nope.

According to the Humane Society International, most of those dogs are stolen pets, and that’s f**ked.

“Your arse is grass and my machete’s the lawnmower!” Credit: AsiaWire

With that in mind, Mr Machete probably had a firecracker under his arse when he checked his surveillance footage and saw a low-life scumbag putting his dogs into a van. He then went into John Wick mode. He called the cops and he got in his car.

Once he had the van in his sights, the fight was on. You can watch exactly how it plays out in the video, but he’s not taking any chances. In fact, he’s almost too reckless. Flipping that van puts his dogs at risk, but fortunately, it seems to pay off. The thief was eventually arrested with a whole bunch of other stolen items in his van. What a b**tard.

“Good doggies!” Credit: AsiaWire

Final thought: I’m a big fan of dogs, I really am. It gladdens my heart to see someone protecting his puppies with such murderous zeal.

I was pretty worried about the little tuckers when I saw the van flip, but although one’s leg looks a bit f**ked, it’s mission accomplished. Who’s to say there’s no place for vigilantism? Good on ya, Mr Machete.

You’re a bloody hero.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Remote Control Car Racing Championship. Check it out.

H/T: Unilad.