It took this family two years to realise their pet wasn’t a dog
F**ken dogs are great aren’t they? Seriously, they’re smart, they’re friendly, they’re obedient and they’re really bloody good at growing to three metres tall and walking on two legs. Nah, we’re not kidding. This Chinese family’s got a friggen awesome dog. A fully sick one. He does all those things, and he’s a hungry bugger too. He even eats a box of fruit and two packets of noodles a day. What do you mean it doesn’t sound like a dog? Of course it’s a dog. Even if the walking on two legs thing’s a bit bloody unique…
So, yeah, obviously, mistaking a dog for a bear isn’t the easiest thing in the world when you’re talking about your average kelpie, staffy or bloody bitza. When you’re talking about a Tibetan mastiff, though, the lines can get a bit blurry. And considering the family in this story thought they were getting one of those big furry b**tards, this story’s a bit more understandable.
Su Yun was obviously feeling pretty good when she brought a ‘puppy’ home to her family, even if it did, as she told Chinese Media, eat “A box of fruits and two buckets of noodles every day.” The Tibetan mastiff is supposed to grow to about 82 kilos and stand 71cm off the ground, so it’s pretty big and we guess that if you don’t know much about dogs, it can be hard to tell…
Unfortunately, the ‘dog’ didn’t stop growing there. Yeah, nah, it smashed its way up to 110 kilos and started to demonstrate a talent for walking on two legs. At that point, Yun got a bit bloody worried. “The more he grew, the more like a bear he looked. I am a little scared of bears.”
She called the local authorities. When they arrived, they promptly shat bricks and decided that, yeah, that’s a friggen bear. Deadset, the ‘puppy’ was actually an endangered Asiatic black bear. The authorities tranquilised the big b**tard and took him to the Yunnan Wildlife Rescue Centre.
Apparently, he’s healthy and free from the threat of bear farmers who would painfully extract his bile to make medicine.
Final thought: Mistaken identity stories are always bloody good. The part that gets us, though, is you just know there’d be some folks online who’d be filming their ‘dog’ walking and posting it on YouTube. Despite that, you’ve gotta be grateful that no one got hurt and the bear can now live in comfort.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: WTF Happened in September 2019
Video Link: Nat Geo Wild
H/T: IFL SCIENCE.