Hilarious Twitter thread reveals what Olympics would be like with amateurs

The f**ken Olympics is pretty much the pinnacle of modern sport. Deadset, for about a month, we all pretend we give a s**t about every obscure bloody sport on the planet as we enjoy watching superhuman athletes dominate the field. Yeah, nah, it’s pretty bloody special, but if you have nothing to compare the impressive performances against – or haven’t seen them in real life – you might not understand just how bloody good the athletes are. Comedian Laura Lexx reckons she has the solution…

Yeah, nah, we’ve gotta be honest, the solution she puts forward hadn’t occurred to us, but now that we’re mulling it over, we reckon it could be a goer. Basically, she reckons that to let us see just how good the athletes are, we should have average blokes and blokettes compete before the pros step up to the plate.

In the Olympics, before each event I think there should just be a normal person having a go to show you the scale of how phenomenal the Olympians are

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

“Before each event I think there should just be a normal person having a go,” she reckons, “(just) to show you the scale of how phenomenal the Olympians are.”

I just think then, when the commentators are going “oooh that’s not so good” after something superhuman, we have a little scale

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

And yeah, it’s deadset not a bad idea. Like, when you consider the world record for the long jump is nearly nine f**ken metres, it doesn’t mean much until you watch your mate Barry try to jump over a puddle when he’s getting out of the car.

Imagine being the member of the public who just gets handed a horse and someone says “this is Twinkle: make her dance like a sexy crab on ants”

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

The same thing should stand for the Olympics. As Lexx says, “Imagine being the member of the public who just gets handed a horse and someone says “this is Twinkle: make her dance like a sexy crab on ants.”

“We will be watching the amateur dive, just as soon as Richard stops muttering ‘ooh it’s higher than it looks on TV, isn’t it?’”

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

Yeah, nah, that s**t sounds tricky, but until you’ve seen people f**k it up, you just don’t know how difficult it is. That’s why we’re all for this. We reckon it’d give us a new appreciation of the athletes while we’re drinking beer and watching them from the comfort of the couch.

“It’s not the first time we’ve seen someone include the Macarena in their floor routine but every year I do hope it will be the last- oh, and there’s the half roly poly before a messy exit into an exhausted vomit”

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

“Interestingly, that is the 26th broken foot suffered by an amateur shot putter”

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

“Jodie from Portsmouth there looking dismayed to find out there are still 6 more events she has to have a go at. She currently explaining to judges that she’s ‘bust a fookin lung’ on the running and that she’s not throwing anything without a ciggie”

— Laura Lexx (@lauralexx) July 27, 2021

Final thought: Yeah, nah, deadset, this is mintox. Anyway, if you’ve had a crack at any of the Olympic events and f**ked up miserably, share your story. We’re keen to hear it.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Old Gymnastics

H/T: NEWS.