Real-life Russian Mario Kart on a frozen river is f***en insane!
You know, every now and then we start to think about how we haven’t been across to Russia in a while and how we kinda miss those crazy b**tards and their over-the-bloody-top antics. Naturally, that means it’s only a matter of time before we contact them or they contact us with more evidence of their ridiculously exciting way of life. In the latest instalment of Those Crazy Russians, we’ve got a couple of blokes f**ken fanging around in go-karts on a frozen river…
First of all, before you watch this video, imagine that little bloody turtle fella, f**ken Lakitu or whatever his name is, on the cloud floating down and telling you to get bloody ready. Once he’s counted you in, press play and hold onto your f**ken moustaches because this thing is all bloody go.
Look at these bloody Russians. They are keen as mustard. And why the f**k not? We assume that river is frozen harder than penguin poop because they have no fear of it whatsoever. Deadset, there’s even a few sections where you’ll be looking at that ice and thinking, f**k me, that looks a bit thin. A bit sketchy, even, but nah, it’s all f**ken good, mate. Russians might be the only c**ts who are more ‘She’ll be right, mate’ than Ozzies.
They f**ken zoom past people out for their morning stroll like they’ve just popped a red mushroom or driven over one of those bloody arrow boosters. And, to be fair, this looks like great fun. Anyway, old mate finally gets his kart into the lead, and you know it’s only a matter of time before he hitches a ride on the blue shell to Destination F**ked, but it finishes without incident. This s**t just looks like Mario Kart – it’s not actually the same thing!
Shame. We’d have loved to have seen some f**ker throw a banana into the mix.
Final thought: We’re always bloody glad to be visiting Russia again. Those guys and gals know how to have a bloody good time. Seriously, they might be even better at that than they are at trolling c**ts online and getting US Presidents elected.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Window Battle