‘Can my husband see his mistress?’ Just one of the questions police have received during lockdown in France
For some of us living in the western world, the idea of having to live with the threat of virulent illness, quarantine, and general chaos can be a bit much to take. Don’t get us wrong, we know the introverts out there are bloody loving it, but when it comes to the everyday parts of life you used to take for granted, you might be a bit confused. Of course, when the French Military Police – the gendarmerie – set up an emergency Covid-19 line, French locals used it to ask all kinds of questions…
Yeah, nah, we know that the French aren’t really the best at practicing civil obedience, but we reckon they’re generally a nation with a bit of common-sense, so it’s strange to find out they’ve been spamming the emergency line with questions like, “Are we allowed to take the bins out?”
Obviously, that’s a f**ken curly one for the cops, and we’re not sure they’ll ever be able to answer it. But, still, spare a thought this cop from Rhône. “We had a pretty libertine couple who wanted to know if the husband could as usual spend the weekend with his mistress!”
One caller posed this doozy: “A stranger caressed my horse, is there a risk it is contaminated [with coronavirus]?” while another asked, “After my divorce, I managed to find someone. But he lives 25 kilometers from my home. How can we do it under lockdown?”
Unfortunately, though, it’s not all humorous stuff. As the lockdown continues, some of those aspects of life’s seedy underbelly are coming to the fore. Yeah, nah, there are more and more calls coming through about domestic violence and neighbourhood problems.
Final thought: Obviously, people have a right to ask questions, but when this s**t eventually comes our way, don’t clog up the phone-lines with s**t you can check online. Some people are going to need to call the cops for real reasons.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Tortoise V Cat #2