Bloke sets world record by floating downriver in a massive pumpkin

World records are f**ken great! Deadset, not only do they recognise amazing achievements, but they truly show us that talent is a diverse concept that we can’t limit to certain fields. Yeah, nah, there are amazing world records out there for s**t like longest fingernails, smelliest undies, and most coconuts smashed in a minute. While those are good, though, we’re not sure any of them are quite as good as this one…the longest journey downriver in a f**ken pumpkin. Check it out.

All right, for this one, we’re heading to Bellevue, Nebraska. That’s where Duane Hansen, a Syracuse native, just travelled thirty-eight miles down the Missouri River in an 800-pound pumpkin.

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

According to the city’s Facebook page, Hansen rocked up at the mayor’s office, announced his plan, and asked for witnesses. From there, the rest is bloody history. Yeah, nah, it took him all bloody day, but Duane fair dinkum did it.

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

The Facebook post reports that, “This morning, on the banks of the Missouri River at the Bellevue Public Boat Docks, Mr. Hansen hopped in the pumpkin at approximately 7:30AM to attempt to make the 38-mile trip to Nebraska City in his 846-pound floating pumpkin.”

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

They continued, by updating their account with the following: “We have a new World Record Holder!! Duane surpassed the 25.5-mile record at 2:52 PM and he is currently continuing on to the Marina in Nebraska City which is approximately 12 more miles. Congratulations Duane and keep going strong!!”

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

Later on, they updated the post again: “The Hansen family just posted on this thread that Duane Hansen made it to Nebraska City just after 6:30p.m.!  Congratulations Duane for smashing the world record. We are proud that you started this record breaking 38-mile journey in Bellevue and it’s been fun to follow along.”

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

Speaking about the attempt, Duane Hansen said, “I was at a giant pumpkin growing seminar, a three-day seminar in Portland, Ore., and I met this lady that had the record. At the time it was 25-something miles. And I asked her a lot of questions and that’s when I decided I wanted to do this.”

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

Of course, Hansen got some of the other rules straight while he was at it. He reckons it’s fine to stay hydrated too. “You can drink beer in the pumpkin,” he said. “I mean I just asked her questions and that happened to be one of them.”

Credit: City of Bellevue, Nebraska

F**K YES, DUANE. Mission accomplished! F**K YES!

Final thought: Yeah, nah, we bloody love this. It’s exactly the kind of thing we want from the Guinness World Records team. We want some fun, obscure, and completely bats**t record to be broken. This is exactly that. Of course, a world record isn’t the only thing Duane’s taken from this. He’s now got a top bloke award too. F**K YES, DUANE. F**K YES!

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Detroit Death Slide

Video Link: Guardian

H/T: FACEBOOK.