Smoking ciggies can make ya willy shrink, says science

Despite the fact we’ve known for bloody ages that smoking the old cancer sticks is gonna f**k your health right up, some people are still intent on it. They look at things like cancer and heart disease as minor ailments. They’re like, ‘Pfah, you’ve gotta go some way and I’d rather go young than live a life without me beloved smokes.’ While there are parts of that we can admire, we’re wondering if the latest warnings from experts might give those persistent smokers a different opinion. If it doesn’t, they might just want a schlort and not a schlong!

Yeah, no s**t, the latest word out of the expert’s mouths is that because your Johnson pretty much relies on blood circulation to keep it up – and to help it grow – smoking durries is probably contributing to your inability to crack a fat and to the fact your d*ck is shrinking.

Credit: Getty

Deadset. We’re not just making this up for laughs, either. A Harley Street urologist, Marc Laniado, said that toking darts has a huge number of negative effects, but the ones it has on your wedding tackle are pretty f**ken problematic.

“I see erectile dysfunction a great deal. To have a firm erection, you need sufficient blood flow. Smokers have a higher incidence of artherosclerosis in all blood vessels, including those in the penis, which can reduce blood flow. The chemicals in smoke may also have an effect on firmness; nicotine causes blood vessels to become narrow. This can be temporary or – eventually – permanent.”

Credit: Fair Use

Apparently, a lot of smokers go to see him because their blue-veined custard chucker is feeling under the weather.

“Often they will say, ‘My erection is not so good, I don’t wake up with an erection in the morning as much as I used to or my penis isn’t quite so hard when I’m having sexual relations.’ But also sometimes people say that their penis is getting shorter as they get older, as smoking stops the blood flowing through the penis, which stops the spontaneous and nightly erections that are needed to stretch the penis and keep it at a good length.”

To back him up, Medical News Today reckons ciggies possess toxins that f**k with the blood vessels in your tubesteak and turn it into a floppy drive.

Credit: Freepik

Final thought: Well, if that’s not enough to get you to put the smokes down, we guess nothing will be. Oh well, if you want to continue smoking, be our guest. Just know that your big winner is slowly gonna degenerate into a little weeny.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Greatest Mating Dance Ever

H/T: MIRROR.