Orthodox Bishop throws baby around like a basketball during baptism

Orthodox Bishop throws baby around like a basketball during baptism

Everyone needs a hobby and everyone needs to love what they do for a living so if bringing a little bit of your hobby into the workplace helps you get through the day, then that’s all right. After all, we all know that a happy worker is an efficient worker. With that in mind, check out this Cypriot bishop who only barely stops short of yelling, “Kobe!” as he baptises a bewildered baby! 

G’day blokes and blokettes. Chuck here again. Today we’re off to Cyprus to check out the ‘outrageous’ Orthodox priest whose drawn the ire of the internet with a baptism technique that some have dubbed ‘enthusiastic’ and others have deemed ‘violent’. Don’t you just love words.

"I hope the water's warm." Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

“I hope the water’s warm.” Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

Let’s see if we can come up with some of our own in response to this controversy.

OK, we’re starting the video and the bishop has assumed the position. It’s not quite the ‘lion king’ pose, but he’s definitely eyeing up the angles and making sure he can line up the trajectory. The four girls – presumably the sisters – are watching eagerly. I’m guessing they know this is the dude who f**ken dunks those babies like its 1922 and he’s washing a particularly sh**ty pair of underroos.


What goes up must come down! Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

F**ken SPLOOSH! SPLISH! SPLASH! Get this little b**tard a towel, he’s got the blessing of the lord now! Just like that, this kid is done. Bring on the next one.

Anyway, far be it for us to pass judgement here – I sincerely doubt the family was unaware of what was about to happen – and there are a few videos like this on the interweb. Some, in fact, are even more enthusiastic, but I do have to say that for me, yeah, that was a little more vigorous of a baptism than I was anticipating.

In the drink! Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

In the drink! Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

I mean, check out the backlift on this bad boy. It’s like he’s using a medicine ball for a shoulder work out. Up and down with pace!

Let’s be honest though. There’s no harm done.

"Here, towel this little sh** off, will ya?" Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

“Here, towel this little sh** off, will ya?” Credit: YouTube/Alex Alexioy

Final thought: Although it’s not like he Michael Jacksoned the little bugger and held him over a balcony, he did slam dunk the kid with a lot of speed and force. He did it with the glee of a senior high school student introducing a nerdy little first-year to his first bogwash. The kids in the background seem quite perturbed by these actions too. It looks like their spidey senses are tingling around this dodgy bastard. Anyway, if that’s how the priests roll in Cyprus, that’s how they roll! I guess… Crikey.

H/T: 9 News.