Scientists reckon aliens have ‘found us’ and are ‘keeping us in a zoo’

Credit: 20th Century Fox/Amblin Entertainment

Scientists reckon aliens have ‘found us’ and are ‘keeping us in a zoo’

If in the not-too-distant past you’ve ever thought that the truth was out there, you can now rest safely in the knowledge that yeah, the truth is actually now ‘out’. And, according to some scientists it’s pretty f**ken ‘out there’ too. Deadset. Some of them are now arguing that, just as the headline says, we’re exhibits in a big bloody alien zoo and that we can’t solve the Fermi paradox because the aliens are keeping themselves hidden. F**k me sideways, that’s a lot to take in, but if science says it’s so…

To start with, that’s some pretty bloody voyeuristic s**t. Just a bunch of kinky aliens watching us go about our business while they hide in the star-bushes and look down on us. We’re not sure we like that revelation here at Ozzy Man Reviews. We want anyone watching us to make themselves known. After all, it’d be the polite thing to do.

The tale of a kid lost in the zoo. Credit: Amblin Entertainment

Anyway, check out some of the s**t these scientists are coming out with:

“It seems likely that extraterrestrials are imposing a “galactic quarantine” because they realize it would be culturally disruptive for us to learn about them.”

This guy’s in deep s**t when the zoo staff find out what he’s been up to. Credit: 20th Century Fox

Now, that comes straight from a meeting of researchers at the Cité des Sciences et de l’Industriem. That’s a museum in Paris, and it’s where the Messaging Extraterrestrial Intelligence International meeting was held this week.

The bloke responsible for that mindblowing comment, Jean-Pierre Rospars, was topped by Douglas Vakoch, the president of the organisation, who said:

“Perhaps extraterrestrials are watching humans on Earth, much like we watch animals in a zoo.”

If you know, you know. You know? Credit: Tom Church

Now, the well-read among you may be thinking, hang on a f**ken minute, Billy Pilgrim, we haven’t come unstuck in time yet, so you must be pulling our f**ken legs. But, er, yeah, nah, they’re not. They’re for real. Vakoch even reckons he knows how to contact our keepers:

“How can we get the galactic zookeepers to reveal themselves?

If we went to a zoo and suddenly a zebra turned toward us, looked us in the eye, and started pounding out a series of prime numbers with its hoof, that would establish a radically different relationship between us and the zebra, and we would feel compelled to respond.

We can do the same with extraterrestrials by transmitting powerful, intentional, information-rich radio signals to nearby stars.”

With that in mind, the only thing left to do is start tapping out the prime numbers, you big bewdiful zebras.

Credit: METI

Final thought: We bloody love that everyone has a voice these days. And who knows. They might be right. If so, ask them where your Hollywood wife is. Anyway, to finish up, if this is the case, the only thing we can say is… “And so it goes…”

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Vicious Cat Fights

Video Link: TED X Talks