Adult toy company claims new device gives men a female orgasm
Look, we obviously decided against starting this piece with some sort of joke about the female “O”, but the reality is that we just couldn’t make one happen. Still, we’re not saying that’s our fault, we’re just saying they might not exist, and that’s okay. You can’t have a joke for every occasion. Anyway, this new s-x-toy has got tongues wagging, so let’s have a bloody squiz at it.
It’s called the Arcwave Ion, and according to its creators, it’s gonna bring about a new age of ‘male masturbation’. We’re not sure blokes really need a hand with that.
From our experience, they’ve got it covered all by their lonesome, but whatever, if they need something else to help them jerk the gherkin, that’s their prerogative.
Anyway, the Arcwave Ion will supposedly help men have a ‘female orgasm’. Yeah, nah, it’ll turn a wrestling match with the Cyclops into something even more powerful. Apparently, it stimulates the frenulum – the bit of skin between the shaft and the foreskin – as it contains the same receptors as the clitoris.
Apparently, a hundred blokes have all had a crack at this thing while firing off knuckle-children, and seventy per cent of them said it made their orgasm more intense.
Considering much of the world is still working from home, we reckon this could be the kind of thing that sees productivity dwindle.
Yeah, nah, while Steve in accounting is supposed to be counting beans, he’ll be flicking imaginary ones instead.
Anyway, the CTO of Wow Tech – Arcwave’s owners – reckons, “The launch of the Arcwave brand represents not only a new age of male masturbation but a more modern, future-oriented masculinity that enables men to rediscover their bodies and explore how they experience sexual pleasure.”
Of course, one part of the instructions that has leaked online is raising a few eyebrows. It says, “You apply water-based lube to the Ion and the penis, before sliding it inside.”
To be honest, we don’t know what exactly slides inside what, and we’re not sure we want to.
Final thought: Look, each to their own. You know we’re firm believers in that, so if this is your kind of jam, be a good boy and clean up your mess when you’re done. On a serious note, let us know what you reckon in the Facebook comments.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Orca vs Otter