Bloke does a terrible job of covering up the evidence after pooing himself while shopping

Look, here at Ozzy Man Reviews, we’re realists and we know that following through, making a premature evacuation or sharting is a part of life and that most of you out there in the comments section have been there. Of course, we’ve never done it. We just know people who have. Obviously, when it happens in public, you’ve got problems. Namely, how do you bloody well hide it and what the friggen hell do you do next?

Well, we’re here to share a public service video with you. When the bloke in this vid gambles on a fart and loses horribly, he shows us exactly how not to respond to the ensuing brown-out. Yeah, nah, pay attention here, because you don’t want to do what this bloke does.

Credit: Newsflare

It all seems to start when he’s hovering behind that aisle there. It’s a bit hard to tell exactly what’s going on, but we reckon this might be the moment he realizes he really shouldn’t have risked that curry. From there, he comes further onto the screen and he’s doing the classic waddle.

Credit: Newsflare

Yeah, nah, he’s clearly in some discomfort here. Worse, his plan to try to get out of the store without anyone noticing has just trickled down his leg and onto the shop floor. Deadset, after shuffling his pants – presumably to get the fudge out from between his cheeks – he’s dropping bombs.

Once the damage is done and the first nugget has plopped to the floor, he clearly gives up. Luckily, though, he’s not wearing his good crocs and he can just brush it under the ice-cream freezer where no one will ever notice it.

Credit: Newsflare

Friggen wrong! Turns out this turd has the consistency of caramel sauce. It doesn’t really move. Instead, his attempts to get rid of it only result in a big Nutella skidmark on the shop floor. We can’t tell exactly what happens at the counter, but we reckon the shop assistant must have noticed. After all, the smell must be bloody rancid.

Final thought: Look, we know that nearly everyone’s been there. Not us, of course, but nearly everyone else. We’re not sure too many have had a shituation more embarrassing than this one, though. So, let’s test the theory. Let us know about the most humiliating time you packed your dacks.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Live TV Fails

Video Link: Enchanted Nethy

H/T: UNILAD.