Christmas in Australia – summed up in a bunch of Tweets

Christmas in Australia – summed up in a bunch of Tweets

When you say Christmas, most people are gonna think of the traditional s**t: snow, snowmen, reindeer, Santa, fireplaces, Christmas trees, and presents. A few people will think of the baby in the manger, the three wise-men and the Christmas spirit. Aussies will think of oppressive heat, gallons of cold beer, and barbecues. Yeah, nah, we do it differently down here, and if you’ve ever wondered just how differently, take these tweets as your answer…

To sum it up for you best, we reckon more than a few Aussie families will be able to relate to a simple discussion about whose place you’ll be spending Christmas at. That conversation will usually cover these points: they’ve got no f**ken pool, why the f**k would we want to go there? They’ve got no air-con, why the f**k would we want to go there? They’ve got no backyard, why the f**k would we want to go there?

Basically, we do Christmas differently here. Don’t get us wrong, it’s not by choice. Nah, the weather forces that s**t on us. Obviously, in the Far North, the rains have probably arrived and the crocodiles are swimming around on people’s driveways, but for most of the continent, the scent of burning forest isn’t usually too far away.

And then there are the inevitable storms. You’ll see people without garages and car-ports strapping mattresses to the roofs of their cars because the hail is the size of a f**ken golf-ball. If there’s no hail, you might get lucky with a f**ken electrical storm – and the lightning is usually pretty f**ken grouse this time of the year.

Other than that, it’s beaches, fishing, and barbecues everywhere. Fortunately, though, the Christmas spirit still exists. You can saunter through packed shopping centres to the sounds of the same four Christmas songs playing on repeat as you spend your hard-earned cash on presents.

Despite all that, we make it work, and while it can be a bit of a culture-shock if you’re not familiar with it, it’s pretty f**ken awesome to sink piss, eat great food, and float around the pool on Christmas Day. Yeah, nah, we wouldn’t change it for anything!

Final thought: Mate, seeing as it’s the time of year when we should all be sharing, load up the comments section with your beer recommendations, and your favourite uniquely Australian Christmas traditions. Have at it, and merry Christmas, ya bogans!

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: CCTV #2

By Editor in Chief On December 14, 2020

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