Poor bastard discovers a sh*tload of cockroaches in old phone
If you think you’ve heard things scuttling inside your appliances, scratching inside your walls and scurrying underneath your floorboards, but haven’t been able to locate the b*stard critters responsible, you might just have cockroaches. Yeah, deadset, those cheeky little buggers get everywhere. And, if this video’s anything to go by, they get there in huge numbers, and once there, they can f**ken die in huge numbers leaving behind a cockroach catacomb that’s sure to give anyone with katsaridaphobia (fear of cockroaches) bloody night terrors.
The collective noun for cockroaches is an intrusion. So, if you were to find something like this in your own house, you’d be totally within your rights to say, “Strewth, Shazza, I’ve just found a f**ken massive intrusion of cockroaches in the phone!”
It’s a pretty apt name really. After all, no one in their right mind willingly invites cockroaches into their home do they? And er, yeah, we can feel the outrage from all you strange people you have pet cockroaches and give them names like Claude and Clarence. We can feel it and we don’t care. No one in their right mind.
Anyway, back to the phone. Fortunately for old mate, this particular intrusion is pretty f**ken dead. Yep, it’s a cockroach graveyard. Which, we guess, is fortunate for anyone with katsaridaphobia. If that shit was clicking, wriggling, writhing or pulsating with life, I know at least one gorgeous sheila who’d probably have a bloody heart attack right on the spot. Sh*t, imagine if the dirty little buggers exploded into flight and landed on you with their spiny legs and wiry antennas crawling on your skin.
Yeah, nah, f**k that.
Of course, the only thing more terrifying than the cockroaches is the possibility of what killed them. These f**kers will supposedly outlive a nuclear bomb-blast. Was it cocky spray or something…worse? We’ll never know.
Except it was probably cocky spray.
Final thought: Bloody cockies man. They’re pretty bloody gross. Luckily for old mate, these ones were dead, but even then, you’d still feel that momentary revulsion when you opened up an appliance and found that many dead cockroaches caked in there like refugees, wouldn’t ya?
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Chameleons