Van hurtles straight into roundabout like a f*cken game of Mario Kart
Throughout our recent history, people have searched for ways to fly. Ways to reach the heavens. Ways to reach for the sky, leave the ground behind, and say “Seeya later, bitches, I’m a f**ken duck now and it’s high time I took off!” Planes and helicopters are well established methods of doing this. This young fella from the Philippines is hard at work on his drone, and now, a bloke from the UK just launched a regular old work-van high into the sky. Check out the footage below to see how it all went down…
Some may say that his dreams were always doomed to fail. Some may say that like Icarus he would fly too close to the sun. Some may say that his van, possessing the aerodynamics of a fridge, would forever remain rooted to the tarmac. Well, let me tell you, ladies and wankers, only the last group there were about as wrong as seeing your dad’s dong.
This bloke was the Air Bud of van drivers. He dreamed, he believed, he took f**ken wing. Yeah, nah, nah, not really. He kinda fucked it. I mean, yeah, if you’re giving him the benefit of the doubt, no one thought those roundabouts would launch you like they do in Mario Kart, but he did shoot into the sky like a fucking salmon swimming upstream.
It’s just that once he was up there, he only had one place to go. Gravity’s a mother**ker like that. And really, gravity brought him crashing back to earth in brutal fashion. So while he thought he might be able to break the rules of physics, nature has once again burst the bubble of a mortal man who thought he could possess limitless power!
Hopefully his van-ity isn’t too wounded.
Final thought: It’s another thought that feels like it can’t be shared enough, but don’t drive like a dickhead. You can hurt yourself, you can hurt other people, and you can wind up on the internet having the piss ripped out of ya by some bloke in his pyjamas. F**k that.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Takeshi’s Castle