Student selling weed spared jail as judge was impressed by their text message grammar
Remember back in the day when your English teacher used to say dumb sh*t like, “English is very important. There’s a direct correlation between those who pass English and those in prison.” Well, a recent trial in the UK has just proved the legend may have had a point. No bullsh*t, a judge in Wales has just let two likely young lads off the hook for dealing drugs. The reason? He was impressed with the grammar in their text messages.
The two young blokes, Luke Rance and Brandon Kerrison, aged 19 and 21 respectively, were indulging in a little bit of a session at the local library when the local boys in blue smelled something funny in the air. This just gets better and better. I hope they were there to check out the beat poetry section.
Anyway, the cops saw Kerrison blazing up. Naturally, they went to check on the two young lads. Long story short, Rance had seven bags of weed and a small quantity of cocaine. Kerrison had two bags of weed and a mobile phone. After searching Rance’s bedroom, they found another two bags of pot worth more than 1200 pounds. That’s nearly two-grand in Ozzy dollar-doos. Kerrison’s phone contained a message he’d sent out that said, “Mad flavours from 10 tonight – let me know for more details.”
So, off to court they went. The two young lads were off to face Judge David Hale. Now, Hale definitely seems like a fairly cool bloke. Unlike the cops who pointed guns at a young fella suspected of selling a bit of weed, he took one look at their text messages, shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, you young whippersnappers don’t need to be going to prison for a bit of the old whacky-tobaccy. Matter of fact, can you score us a 50 later?”
Ok, maybe it wasn’t that cut and dry, but the sentiment remains. What he did say was that, “Cannabis may be an experiment that you find pleasurable, but its use can have serious consequences.” He added that the grammar and punctuation in their text messages was much better than he usually saw and that he didn’t want to “fetter the prospects of the young men with custodial sentences.”
Both will have to complete community service and Kerrison must complete a rehabilitation program.
Final thought: Next time you think it’d be better to blaze up than it would be to learn your spelling words and complete your grammar worksheets, think again. That sh*t might just help you avoid a prison sentence one day.”
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Ozzy Man Interviews Jason Momoa with Guess The Aussie Slang
H/T: The Telegraph.