Innocent nan puts on ‘thermal socks’ – not realising they’re for something else
After a quick survey, we’re pretty sure that most people know that ‘odd socks are cock socks’. It’s an old adage that’s stood the test of time. And there’s a reason for that. There’s a shape there. That’s all we’re gonna say, but it also turns out that – in some places at least – cock socks are just regular old thermal socks. Just ask the Japanese dude whose Grandma chucked his Fleshlights on her feet…
First of all, we need to acknowledge that this Japanese bloke is a bloody keen wanker. Having just one Fleshlight, pocket-pussy or masturbatory aid is a commitment to flogging the log, cuffing the carrot and pumping the stump.
Having more than one, is bloody dedication of the highest order.
Anyway, we digress. And, yeah, there are some questionable points in this apparent incident, but just go with it and don’t worry about the plot holes – or the fact the dude took photos of Gran wearing his Fleshlights so he could post them on the internet.
Moving on, this dude’s innocent old grandma has – for some reason – been looking through his belongings. Upon finding the Fleshlights, she’s decided they look pretty comfy and pretty warm. Without further ado, she’s chucked ‘em on her feet and relaxed.
And that’s when our humble protuganist has found her. Obviously mortified, we reckon he’d have been like, “Gran, those aren’t socks. You need to take them off right this second.” The natural response from Gran would have been, “Well what are they then.”
Then the awkwardness would ensue. What do you say? “Yeah, nah, Nan, I gallop me maggot into those.” Fortunately for us, the humour doesn’t end there. Nan couldn’t get ‘em off her feet. We don’t know whether that’s caused they’re designed for getting it on, but the young fella’s had to peel his Fleshlights off of Grandma’s feet.
Final thought: Look, we know there are some suss bits about this, but you have to imagine there are plenty of blokes out there who’ve been busted with their Fleshlights. And, in fairness, we don’t reckon there’s anything particularly wrong with having one. Chicks get all manner of dildos, but there’s definitely a stigma there for dudes. Anyway, if you’re one of the lucky ones who’s been sprung, tell us your story in the comments.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Bottle-Cap Challenge Part Two