A bunch of genius ideas that should be f***en mandated everywhere!
Have a look around your bloody room right now and you’ll probably see tonnes of items. Me for example, I’m looking at pens, book-holders, lamps with bendy stems and tonnes of other things. Now, the reason I’m telling you this is that at some point, these common everyday items didn’t exist. Then some smart bugger came along and just pointed out that these things would all be f**ken grouse things to have around. I mean, a pen with clip. F**ken genius! A cup with a handle? Bloody brilliant. With that in mind, here’s some more s**t that’s so smart it’ll be commonplace before you know it…
Lets start with this bloody doozie. Apparently, it’s from Singapore. If you’re an old fart, you can tap your senior card and get more time at the crossing. That’s some smart s**t, right there!
Have a crack at this legendary piece of infrastructure. There’s nothing worse than getting a flat on the pushy. This bike-rack comes with a built in pump so you can fix it when some s**t of a kid lets your tyres down!
Ha, brilliant. Bloody soap guns at the car wash. You can shoot the cars with them!
Getting serious for a minute, this is absolutely something we should implement everywhere. F**ken grouse.
Yeah, this is great. I mean, sure, we could probably reference some other books that show exactly why you shouldn’t, but really, why would you bother. Let natural selection take its course, we reckon!
A dunny you don’t have to touch with your hand. Now that’s something we need everywhere. Nothing worse than having to touch the dunny before you sort yourself out.
Speaking of smart dunnies. Check this out. The water you wash your hands in is used to flush the loo. Of course, it does rely on everyone actually washing their hand and not just leaving rancid piss there, but the intention still counts, right?
Again, this is bloody genius. And before you go crying that there should be one for men, when was the last time any of you buggers even went on dates. Yeah, we know your sort. And, by the way, Mrs Palmer doesn’t f**ken count.
Holy s**tballs, this is probably my favourite thing ever. No I don’t want help. I’m just browsing, now f**k off already.
Now that is going to make it pretty bloody easy to get a ruler in there. And back out again. Ha, yeah, there’s always one drongo who dropped his bloody ruler down the cast.
Final thought: After seeing all of these bonza bloody ideas, you’ll no doubt look at the things you see as common-sense parts of life as the real works of genius that they are from now on. And again, don’t be surprised to see some of this s**t patented. In the future, they’ll be like assholes. Everyone will have them.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Flexible Woman