F*@#en wanker swan lays the smack down on dog going for a swim
Look, straight up, we all know geese are f**ken b**tards sent from the depths of hell to frighten and injure anyone who comes too close. What you might not know – we bloody didn’t – is that friggen swans can be total cocks too. Deadset. Swans. Have a watch of this video and have a gander as a prick of a swan beats up a happily swimming doggo.
Usually, when we’re crowing about a bloody animal fight, we’re ready to hype it up and talk up the contestants. Today’s episode of creature combat, though, isn’t quite like that. Yeah, nah, f**ken nah, we’ve got a gorgeous bloody doggo and a total d**khead of a swan just going to town on him.
When it starts, you can see the Golden Retriever just loving the fact that he can go for a swim. He’s all like, “S**t-yeah, f**ken water! I can practice me doggy paddle, I can shake meself dry on the hoomans and I can roll me damp fur in the mud! It’ll be grouse.”
Then, straight outta stage-right, f**ken swan! Get a load of him. Wings beating, neck snaking, he’s on a mission to f**k up innocent doggos. This total prick has a solid crack at trying to drown the bloody dog, and all the onlookers can do is watch on as the avian arsehole deadset bullies our innocent doggo.
It f**ken cracks him with his wings, it pecks him with his beak, it kicks him with its webbed feet. It straight up assaults the dog.
Thankfully, the doggo gets away and makes it back to the people. You can tell he’s like, “Who’s f**ken mate is that? He’s a deadset dodgy c**t. Seriously, I thought swans were supposed to be nice.”
The humans are like, yeah, nah, he’s just a f**ken d-bag, mate. Just stay away from him and you’ll be sweet. So, like all good doggos, the dog waits for the swan to f**k off and jumps back in the water.
It just goes to show, that if you love something and don’t want to quit it, copping a flogging from an overrated duck – who’s probably got ugly kids – is f**ken worth enduring.
Final thought: Look, we were a bit shocked at this. Since viewing we’ve found out that swans can actually bloody drown other animals who are encroaching on their territory and what-not, but seeing this hellspawn of a swan just s**tmix a gorgeous golden retriever definitely opened our eyes. F**ken swans. Ya can’t trust ‘em.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Cockatoos Feeding