Mum nails daughter with her thong from a deadly long distance
F**K YES! Whether you call ‘em thongs, flip-flops, pluggers or Japanese riding boots, we all know there’s nothing quite as deadly as a mum armed with a f**ken double-plugger. Deadset, it’s just a biological fact of life that once a sheila pops out her first littlun, she develops a throwing arm like a f**ken sniper rifle. It’s like a bloody evolutionary mechanism that ensures Mum can knock your smart mouth back to the stone age from long range. Check out this video to see what we mean…
Rightio, ya bloody legends. We’ll come clean and acknowledge that there’s a bit of debate online about the authenticity of this one. But, and we really mean this, who gives a koala’s cock? Just f**ken go with it, enjoy the ride and marvel at the brilliance of this long range discipline.
The video takes us to a street in Mexico somewhere. We see a teenage girl f**ken leg it, and when we see what mum’s got in mind, it’s easy to understand why. Anyone who’s ever copped a slap from a flying thong can understand the sheer terror that must be coursing through the no-doubt belligerent daughter.
Dead f**ken set, Mum lines this up like a champion darts thrower. She measures the wind. She considers the humidity, the angle of the sun and the moving speed of her target. All of which is inconsequential, though. The result is never in doubt. Mum’s got aim like Oscar f**ken Pistorius.
That flying jandal – yeah, all right, we hear ya, Kiwiland – is only ever going one place. The daughter could run like a bloody cartoon character being chased by a heat seeking missile, but she still wouldn’t stand a chance. The flying plugger, spinning through the air, comes down like a peregrine f**ken falcon and collects the teenager, sending her straight to Destination F**ked. Off to bed. No dinner.
What a bloody shot.
Final thought: We’re pretty sure we’ve said this before, but don’t f**k with Mum. Especially if she’s got a flip-flop in her hand. That sh*t’s only going to end badly for you.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Best Gymnastics Routine AGAIN