‘Dead’ woman found alive in morgue fridge
For some, the thought of being surrounded by dead bodies is a real fear. It’s even got a name: Necrophobia. Yep, for some reason, the idea of looking around a room and seeing nothing but lifeless corpses, toe-tagged and ready for burial fills some people with pants-sh*tting terror. Some might say that it’s a senseless fear and that it could never happen. Tell that to the South African sheila who woke up in a morgue fridge…
The unnamed woman was taken to Carletonville morgue in South Africa by paramedics who declared her dead after having a look at her. I’m not exactly sure how closely they inspected her, but it turns out they were wrong. F**ken wrong.
Their grievous error was discovered by a morgue worker. Imagine being that guy for a second. You’ve taken your daily 2.30 appointment in the office restroom, and having just recently watched any number of movies about the undead, you feel like you should check the bodies in the fridge just to make sure they actually have kicked the bucket. How the f**k would you feel when you noticed one of them breathing?
Fortunately, this bloke’s first instinct wasn’t to stake the woman through heart to ensure she stayed dead. Yeah, nah, he was way more sensible than that. He didn’t fire up the chainsaw and cut her f**ken head off, he didn’t torch her with a halogen lamp, and he didn’t inject her with garlic serum, he just got on the blower and said, “Yeah, you know that chick who came in earlier… she’s not f**ken cactus yet, bro.”
Obviously, there’s an investigation underway. They’ll presumably be checking things like, “Did you check her bloody pulse?”
Final thought: In fairness to everyone involved, there are a few plus points here. First of all, she’s OK, and she’s recovering in a hospital for alive people. Secondly, the morgue worker didn’t go the double-tap to make sure she stays down, and finally, when she did come back to life, she didn’t rip old mate’s carotid out. As for the paramedics, who knows, maybe smoko was just around the corner and they didn’t have time for a pulse check. Either way, all’s well that ends well.
While we’re on the topic, this is worth a spin:
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Canadian Arrest