F#*k-off big bloody Giant squid washes up on South African beach
We know some of you out there in the comment section are probably beachgoers, but how would you be if you found a f**ken giant squid just washed up on the shore? And yeah, nah, while the question’s basically a hypothetical, it’s not completely out of the realms of possibility. That s**t deadset happened to Adéle Grosse and her family on a beach in South Africa’s Western Cape province earlier this month.
Before you have a squiz, picture the bloody scene: one minute you’d be there thinking about what a lovely day it is and how you’re glad you came to the beach, but the next you’d be like, ‘Fark! Better cook up some chips to go with the calamari we’re having for din-dins!’
Adéle, who filmed video of the giant animal, reckons, “It looked like a majestic prehistoric animal as I have never seen anything like that in our oceans. At first I just wanted to get it back into the ocean, but it was huge and on closer observation, one could see that it was dead.”
They found the creature on Britannia Bay beach, and Grosse says they, “Looked for bite marks or injuries and could not really find anything. I immediately put it out on my social network with the hope that the right people will see it and be able to preserve it.”
And that’s exactly what happened. Iziko Museums, a local organization of nearly a dozen art, natural and social history museums in Cape Town came and got the poor thing. They’ll undoubtedly pickle the f**k out of it and let kids gawk at it for all eternity.
Another beachgoer, Richard Davies reckons that he found it on the beach before it died, but was unable to get it back into the water. “It was sad because I could see it was dying,” he told News24. “It was still pumping out ink. I touched one of its tentacles which sucked onto my hand and I actually had to use some force to remove it.” Unfortunately, the animal’s size made it too big for him to put back in the water.
What a bummer.
Final thought: Obviously, it’s pretty f**ken tragic that the big bastard’s come onshore and kicked the proverbial bucket, but it’s a pretty crazy find. Let us know what you’d do if you found one on the beach. Would you be game to try and get it back in the water or would you just get a few bags of breadcrumb ready?
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: DJ Disasters
Video Link: ABC 7