Bloke hospitalised with three-day raging moby after taking bull medication

Look, we probably don’t have to tell you blokes that having a rod for too long is a recipe for disaster, so let’s just get on with this tale about a Mexican bloke and his three-day husky. Anyway, before we pitch a tent here and start camping on dumb euphemisms, let’s get to the point. This guy smashed some ‘blood flow medication’ designed for bulls – yeah, bulls – and ended up in hospital with priapism.

Now, we know that might be a new word that just popped up for the first time, but priapism, which seems like it would be a way better word if it was ‘priaprism’ isn’t really a laughing matter. Take the pain you feel from sleeping on your gear too long and multiply it by heaps.

Credit: CEN

Yeah, nah, a rager that lasts more than four hours can cause permanent damage to your old fella, and doctors would treat it as a medical emergency. Treatments vary, but unless you’re starring in a dirty movie, there’s very little chance it’s gonna be handled with a bit of love and affection.

Usually, they’ll drain the blood with a needle, but if it’s worse than that, you might end up in surgery. Once that’s happened, you’re pretty much doomed to an eternal soft-on, so you really wanna avoid it.

This bull’s doing an impression of that guy’s dick. Credit: Andrei Metelev/Getty Images

Anyway, let’s get to the story. Apparently, a bloke in Mexico who’s managed to keep his name under wraps was gearing up for a date. As the story seems to go to great pains to tell us, this date was with a thirty-year-old woman. According to La Republica, doctors said, “He was hospitalised in the Specialised Hospital 270 of the city of Reynosa. He had taken a stimulant which he had bought in Veracruz, used by farmers in that region to invigorate bulls…”

Obviously, he was pretty keen on giving this sheila the rodeo ride of her life. There’s no word on his condition, but if you do know the bloke, give him a break. He’s been doing it hard lately.

This is Priapus, a Greek God with an eternal boner. They named Priapism after him. Credit: Hellene Travel/Fair Use

Also, his tackle is probably broken. Yeah, be nice.

Final thought: It’s impossible not to see this as a lesson for all of the blokes out there. No matter how keen you are for your big date – even if she in the dirty thirties – don’t take bull meds. Yeah, nah, don’t send yourself to Destination F**ked. It’s not worth it.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Random Vlog 2: Mexico

H/T: DAILY MAIL.