The CDC has warned people to stop washing and reusing their condoms

Good evening blokes and blokettes, how ya doing? In today’s absolutely horrifying news, the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, America’s number one health organisation, has tweeted a reminder that you should not wash and reuse a rubber Johnny – ever!

Yeah, too f**ken right ya shouldn’t wash and reuse a condom. That’s just bloody gross. Unfortunately, the post was necessary because, as the CDC tells us, people do it. And, apparently, they do it more often than you’d think… In more ways than one.

We say it because people do it: Don't wash or reuse #condoms! Use a fresh one for each #sex act. https://t.co/o3SPayRf9m pic.twitter.com/AwkPqE9YMl

— CDC STD (@CDCSTD) July 23, 2018

According to their data, some 72 per cent of yanks are bumping uglies, shellacking the old canoe, engaging in gland to gland combat, or loading the clown into the cannon on the regular. A quarter of those people are wrapping up with a raincoat when they do. Terrifyingly, somewhere between one and about three point five per cent of those people are rinsing out their love glove and using it again once they’re done.

“Hold on babe, let me just grab one off the clothes line…”

— Charles Hall (@CharlesHaHaHall) July 25, 2018

So, yeah, first of all, that’s f**ked. Why would you do that? They’re quite clearly a single use item. You can imagine it now can’t you? You withdraw your spelunker from the fantastic cavern, pull the pickle out of playground, and exit from the temple of poon before chucking your dinger in the wash-pile with your furry costume.

Well, what the hell am I supposed to with all these condoms in the dishwasher now?

— What a Stupid Time to be Alive (@mrd125) July 25, 2018

On a more serious note, it’s no secret that the friction wears rubbers down and they’re completely not reusable after a single use. And, oh sh*t, are these being used on multiple people? Are there people who use a cock sock on one person, rinse it out with a bit of Listerine and then use it on their next partner?

The horror! The horror!

@MoE2924 is this why I have two kids

— Sam Bone (@SamDBone) July 25, 2018

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Travel Fails

H/T: Daily Mail.