Drunken Female Miami Dolphins Fan Somehow Manages To Piss Into Urinal While Standing

Drunken Female Miami Dolphins Fan Somehow Manages To Piss Into Urinal While Standing

This female Miami Dolphins fan is taking the piss while taking a piss and it’s bloody glorious to behold…

In this video, taken at last weekend’s Jets-Dolphins American football game, an unidentified blonde lass can be seen holding up her beer while relieving herself into a men’s urinal.

Wearing a pink top and blue shorts – which have been pulled down below her arse – the woman holds the wall for balance and releases her stream while an enthusiastic onlooker proclaims ‘You’re doing it!’

The footage was posted to Instagram by the football podcast laceoutshow and featured the following caption: “Miami is officially a football town, FOLKS.”

The cheeky wee post quickly went viral and garnered a bunch of (mostly) positive comments. But of course, the ‘If the situation were reversed’ crowd had to get involved and piss on the piss parade.

“So if that was me in the ladies bathroom I would be arrested,” jackpalmsun moaned.

Cuban_rick chimed in with: “Keep this lady away from liquor for her own good. I’m sure when her buzz is gone this will be an embarrassing situation.”

“I’m sure somewhere there’s a guy he thinks she’s a good girl and so faithful,” added mattey291 (who tweets like Trump, I reckon). “His high school sweetheart. If a man walks into a women’s bathroom and does that he would be arrested immediately and will also be a registered sex offender.”

Calm down, fellas: not being able to wee in a women’s toilet isn’t the end of the bloody world. Plus, have you seen the queues to those things? How can you have a go at this sheila for having the girl-balls to pull off such an audacious stunt?!

Look mum: no hands!

Look mum: no hands!

I love the guy, trying to piss but also watch the madness unfold

I love this guy: trying to piss but also watch the madness unfold

It's hilarious that she's going for a high-five with the dude while he's mid-stream

It’s hilarious that she’s going for a high-five with the dude while he’s mid-stream

CHECK OUT THIS BLOODY LEGEND ON THE PLAYER BELOW:

Miami is officially a football town, FOLKS

A post shared by Laces Out (@lacesoutshow) on

Some of you are probably wondering how in the name of all things holy she managed to propel her wee-stream forwards and not dribble it all over her shorts. Well, let me tell you a little story about the time I was out-pissed by a lady:

Eight or so years ago, I was backpacking through Central America. I had just arrived in Flores, Guatemala and met a bunch of fellow travellers at the hostel I’d checked into. We decided to go to a local bar for a few quiet beers and upon arrival, discovered that they sold one-litre bottles for $1 USD each.

This was never going to end well

Tremendous

Naturally, our enthusiasm got the better of us we quickly became hammered. Stumbling back to the hostel, an American sheila in the group challenged me to a literal pissing contest. Despite the fact that I needed a poo and was a bit worried that pushing too hard might cause that to happen, I drunkenly accepted the challenge.

Bathroom mirror-selfie. I was clearly steaming by this stage...

Look at me: of course I was going to accept the challenge by this stage…

We lined up at the end of a wharf and shot our respective streams into the lake below and I’m not ashamed to admit that, despite unleashing an impressive flow myself, the lass I was versing produced a high-pressure torrent that was both glorious and intimidating in equal measure and she outpissed me by more than a metre.

One of these lady's was the superpowered pisser...

One of these lady’s is a superpowered pisser…

Since that day, I’ve known that some women possess the ability to wee standing up. It’s something to be embraced, not shunned and I’m glad this drunken Dolphins fan has taken it upon herself to show the world the way forward…