Dodgy store caught selling fish with fake googly eyes stuck on
Aye-aye-aye! This latest story is o-fish-ally off the hook! As you know, there’s nothing worse than seafood that isn’t as fresh as it should be, and as a discerning customer of the fishmonger, you wouldn’t want to be duped into buying fish that are a little on the pongy side. Keep that in mind while you hear about the shenanigans of a Kuwaiti fishmonger sticking googly eyes onto their fish in the hope it would trick customers into thinking it was fresh…
You’re gonna think we’re f**ken joking, but we’re really bloody not. The mob of scale-iwags at this tricksy little fishmongers were abso-f**ken-lutely sticking googly eyes onto their products so they’d look fresher from a distance.
Never judge the freshness of fish by the googliness of their eyes. https://t.co/hW50lwpwCz
— Matthew Dalby, PhD (@MatthewJDalby) September 1, 2018
As you can imagine, the locals were bloody furious at these underhanded tactics. Wouldn’t you be? Picture it: you’re strolling through the markets, enjoying the sights, smells and sounds of your surrounds when, knowing you need a nice fish for your dinner, you spy some really fresh looking tuna in the distance. These b*stards are so fresh, their eyes are still shiny and white. They look like they’ve come straight off the trawler so you rush over.
And you realise it’s a bloody stick-on googly eye. You know the ones we’re talking about; you had access to ‘em in high school and you probably stuck ‘em on all sorts of shit in the name of humour.
Well, the Kuwaiti police didn’t think it was very f**ken funny to see them stuck on fish. They found the fishmonger gill-ty of fishy behaviour and had ‘em closed down. Of course, the competition was straight onto it and started marketing their own fish as being ‘cosmetic free’.
So there you have it. Next time your misso wants some cosmetics for her birthday, f**ken buy her some googly eyes and tell her you can’t wait to ‘sea’ what they look like on!
Final thought: You’ve gotta have mad respect for the thought process. You can imagine the conversations in the marketing department. “You know what we need to make these fish look fresher? Googly f**ken eyes. It’ll fool ‘em every time!” Talk about a face palm and a good on ya award!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: British Daredevil