Christmas in Australia – summed up in a bunch of Tweets
When you say Christmas, most people are gonna think of the traditional s**t: snow, snowmen, reindeer, Santa, fireplaces, Christmas trees, and presents. A few people will think of the baby in the manger, the three wise-men and the Christmas spirit. Aussies will think of oppressive heat, gallons of cold beer, and barbecues. Yeah, nah, we do it differently down here, and if you’ve ever wondered just how differently, take these tweets as your answer…
To sum it up for you best, we reckon more than a few Aussie families will be able to relate to a simple discussion about whose place you’ll be spending Christmas at. That conversation will usually cover these points: they’ve got no f**ken pool, why the f**k would we want to go there? They’ve got no air-con, why the f**k would we want to go there? They’ve got no backyard, why the f**k would we want to go there?
Yep, it's Christmas in Australia. pic.twitter.com/jxQZNut6ei
— Jay Sivyer (@jaysivyer) December 8, 2020
Basically, we do Christmas differently here. Don’t get us wrong, it’s not by choice. Nah, the weather forces that s**t on us. Obviously, in the Far North, the rains have probably arrived and the crocodiles are swimming around on people’s driveways, but for most of the continent, the scent of burning forest isn’t usually too far away.
— Dani aka @awwdude (@mallowtalks) November 1, 2020
American Christmas movies: snow, warm jumpers, kissing by the crackling fireplace, smell of cookies
Australian Christmas movies: don’t exist, it’s too hot to fall in love, sweating, drinking too much beer, crackling bushfires, smell of bushfire
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) December 8, 2019
Christmas in Australia 😂 pic.twitter.com/izIcrJJebq
— this.elf.will.thrive (@ThisThrive) December 6, 2020
And then there are the inevitable storms. You’ll see people without garages and car-ports strapping mattresses to the roofs of their cars because the hail is the size of a f**ken golf-ball. If there’s no hail, you might get lucky with a f**ken electrical storm – and the lightning is usually pretty f**ken grouse this time of the year.
A koala snuck into a home in my city to help spread Christmas joy 😍
Adelaide is awesome 🥰 pic.twitter.com/OB9q36ZDTA
— Damon | 🐨ScaryDropbear (@ScaryDropbearAu) December 3, 2020
Christmas in America vs Christmas in Australia pic.twitter.com/azwUfzc9Zz
— QTori |Commissions CLOSED| (@QT0ri) December 4, 2020
Australian Christmas tree pic.twitter.com/SOCQh0eO6f
— Swedish Canary (@SwedishCanary) December 1, 2020
Other than that, it’s beaches, fishing, and barbecues everywhere. Fortunately, though, the Christmas spirit still exists. You can saunter through packed shopping centres to the sounds of the same four Christmas songs playing on repeat as you spend your hard-earned cash on presents.
Christmas is in summer here in Australia so not only are you peeling the paper of your presents you're also peeling your sweaty ballsack off your leg.
— Ben (@superherofbmx) December 9, 2020
— 7NEWS Australia (@7NewsAustralia) December 2, 2016
— Lesley Gaunson (@lesleygaunson) November 12, 2015
Despite all that, we make it work, and while it can be a bit of a culture-shock if you’re not familiar with it, it’s pretty f**ken awesome to sink piss, eat great food, and float around the pool on Christmas Day. Yeah, nah, we wouldn’t change it for anything!
Passed this on the drive tonight, love the little Australia map – Happy Christmas from down under! pic.twitter.com/an5AiWd2b3
— Amber Khan (@Amber_Khan1) December 4, 2020
Final thought: Mate, seeing as it’s the time of year when we should all be sharing, load up the comments section with your beer recommendations, and your favourite uniquely Australian Christmas traditions. Have at it, and merry Christmas, ya bogans!
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: CCTV #2