This bloke taste-tested every frozen Hawaiian pizza in Australia
For some reason, pineapple on pizza’s become a contentious issue in recent years. The reason for that sudden upsurge in discussion is pretty unclear, but whether or not someone likes something you think is gross or vice-versa, it’s always important to remember that you can let other people enjoy the things they like. Yeah, it might make them monsters, but that doesn’t have to affect you. That being said, if you’re one of those lunatics who likes pineapple on pizza, a bloke by the name of Joel has done you a real solid and taste-tested all the frozen varieties you’re likely to come across…
So, Australian public, meet Joel Burrows. According to him, his tastebuds belong to you and he’s putting them to good use and making sure you don’t come unstuck buying a sh** Hawaiian pizza. And yeah, we know that to some of you there’s no such thing otherwise, but this post’s not for you.
Yeah, nah, if you’re one of those blokes or blokettes, why don’t you look at this as a way to punish your freakish pineapple-on-pizza munching buds next time you hang out for a game of Uno. Seriously, it’s the least you can do.
Anyway, we’ll let Joel give you the gist of his plan:
“Gordon Ramsay even once stated “you don’t put f**king pineapple on a pizza.” However, both Menulog and Order-In say it’s Australia’s second most popular flavour. And my taste buds belong to the Australian public, and not to the snobby elite.
That being said, just because frozen Hawaiian pizzas can be good, doesn’t mean every one will be great. In fact, most of them taste sickly-sweet and would ruin your Friday night. So in order to save your wallet, and your tongue, I decided to taste-test all of them. That’s right: I went to ALDI, Woolies, IGA, and Coles. And I bought every frozen brand that they had.”
So, look, we’re not gonna go through the whole bloody shebang right here for you. Joel’s done a bloody stellar job of that and we don’t want to steal his thunder. But, we’ll break down the basics.
Essentially, Burrows reckons the completely f**ken atrocious pizzas you should avoid are the Coles brand jobs, Jase’s Kitchens gluten-free number, and Papa Giuseppi’s god-awful monstrosities.
At the top end of the list, Burrows has pretty bloody good things to say about Woollies store-brand pizza, International Cuisine’s pizzas – not the square ones – and McCain’s ‘pretty great’ pizza singles.
We’ll let you suss out the rest for yourself. Click here to check it out!
Final thought: Honestly, this is the behaviour of a top bloke. Whether or not you’re a fan of Hawaiian pizza, you can’t say Burrows hasn’t willingly taken a few bullets for the team there. Good s**t, mate. Good s**t. Now, who’s up for doing this with a pepperoni or a meatlovers?
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Nutcracker Compilation