Boston Dynamics’ Atlas robot shows off f*cken parkour skills

Okay, okay, you’ve probably seen a tonne of sh*tpost articles about a ‘parkour’ robot that can go up steps and shit. And yeah, nah, that f**ken robot’s real, but while the internet sh*ts a collective brick about the potential of giving an unfeeling machine the ability to run up f**ken steps, jump logs and run like that middle-aged guy you always see jogging down the street on the way to work, we’re here to say, ‘Settle the f**k down.’ Robots like this are a good thing.

Look, we’re not gonna lie to ya, we’ve seen Chopping Mall and we know what f**ken Skynet is, but we’re not gonna get all paranoid because one robot looks like it’s got the ability to chase down anyone who thinks they can stay in a shopping centre and have a mad party overnight – even if they do disable the bloody lift.

Credit: Boston Dynamics

So, let’s get serious for a second. The ‘parkour robot’ is named Atlas. I don’t know why it’s not carrying a f**ken huge earthen ball up the steps when it runs – and seriously, with a name like that it bloody well should – but according to Boston Dynamic, they’re showing off the robot’s ability to leap up small containers because the last time they tried to show it off it looked like an ADD toddler learning to walk.

Credit: Boston Dynamics

Apparently, Atlas the robot weighs about 180 pounds (80 kilos for anyone not living in a f**ken fantasy novel) and if the video’s anything to go by, he’s actually pretty bloody agile.

What we know is that getting robots to walk is apparently pretty bloody difficult and few companies have actually got their plans running. (Ha!) Anyway, watch the video, try not to pack your dacks, and think about the benefits of a robot like this…

It could definitely deliver pizza to upstairs apartments, so there’s that.

Credit: Boston Dynamics

Final thought: In all seriousness, this is a pretty cool development. Yeah, the robot looks pretty athletic and kind of like it might have been made to murder people, but let’s just think about the science. The science and the possibility that the scientist’s behind it haven’t read their Asimov and imbued it with his laws of robotics. Faaarrkkk.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: The Queen’s Guard

H/T: Tech Crunch.